Not Stepping On Your Toes Disclaimer

Let me start off by saying that I was about to cancel writing this post. Not because the topic doesn’t interest me, because it really does. Rather, it was simply because I know that this is a topic that is often misunderstood.

Just by mentioning the word “religion” to people in the U.S., makes our egos step in and exclaim “woah, you’re stepping on my toes!” or “be careful to not step on my toes!”

That’s the reason for this disclaimer.

For the record, I am not intentionally stepping on your toes. And if I do, I apologize, it was an accident. (And I highly encourage you to read until the end of the post so that you can prove this for yourself).

Simply asking the question, “is love a religion or a spiritual practice?” immediately creates a sense of defensiveness in people…. not because of the entire question, because the entire question is actually thought-provoking (if you let it)… but because of the word “religion” especially, and “spiritual.”

It’s weird that this defensiveness pops up because this sensation is first of all, unnecessary, it’s also uncomfortable and counterproductive, because the real focus of the question is LOVE, remember?

Before you start reading the actual post, let me just say 2 things that I hope will minimize the discomfort, at least a tad:

1) I don’t care if you have a religion or not or what your religion is. I really don’t.

2) I also don’t care if you have a spiritual practice.

I say this not out disrespect for you, on the contrary, I say it because I respect what your choices have been regarding these topics.

I do care about 1 thing though, so continue reading to find out more about what that is.

What This Post Is Not About In a Nutshell

In this post, I will not be talking about whether you should be religious or not, or what religion you should be. I also won’t be persuading or dissuading you from having a spiritual practice.

REMEMBER that the vast majority of my posts are about lifting a mirror up to yourself, myself, a book, a product, the world or humanity to see how love fits in relationship to it.

What Is The Difference Between Spirituality and Religion?

A few years ago, thanks to being an avid Oprah Winfrey fan, I learned that there is a difference between spirituality and religion.

According to Merriam-Webster, a religion is “an organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god or a group of gods.”
It is, in other words, a doctrine that you learn about and  try to apply its doctrines to your life.

Spirituality is “the quality of state or being spiritual.” And what is “spiritual”? It is “of or relating to a person’s spirit.”

Essentially, it’s a practice of having a reverence for your spiritual essence and the spiritual nature of living things.

Is Asking The Question “Is Love A Religion Or A Spiritual Practice” Implying Something?

Asking whether love is spiritual or religious is a question that does acknowledge that there are religions that are based on love.

Yet there are people who are very religious who are not loving

And there are very loving people who are not religious.

So being one does not automatically imply that you are the others as well. They each require their skill set. Let’s see what this means.

How Are Religion, Spirituality and Love Alike?

All of these elements, if you choose to incorporate them into your life, require that you devote your time, which as you know, is one of your most precious resources, to someone.

In the case of your:

1. Religion: you’re devoting time to whom you believe in
2. Spiritual Practice: you’re devoting time to yourself and/or to whom you believe in
3. Loved Ones: it’s pretty clear that you’re devoting time to them

But how you spend this time in these three areas can be what determines how satisfied or how “off” you feel in your life.

Let’s explore this further.

What Are You Focusing On?

Even though the content of the posts on this site may seem theoretical and even philosophical, my posts are meant to make you think about your life and invite you to make sure you’re living consciously. Not living how I’d like for you to live, but YOU Living how YOU want to live. Meaning, choosing the elements of your life that you want. Not living by default.

So, let’s take a “quiz” about the role that religion, spiritual practice and love play into your life. The right answer to these questions is your honest answer to yourself.

What is most important to you in your life?

1. your religion
2. your spiritual practice
3. your loved ones

Now take a look at your daily/weekly schedule, what do you devote the majority of your time to?

1. your religion
2. your spiritual practice
3. your loved ones

Which one makes you the happiest?

1. your religion
2. your spiritual practice
3. your loved ones

If you were dying, what would you have wanted to spend more time doing:

1. practicing a religion (isn’t it weird that we “practice” religions? I wonder if we truly ever “master” them).
2. devoting time to your spiritual practice (yes, we practice that, too).
3. loving your loved ones

Analyze Your “Quiz” Results

Take a look at your Answers. Do you see the pattern? Seeing a clear pattern would be nice.

There’s was no wrong or right answer to the quiz questions, necessarily, but I think there is one answer that makes living worthwhile.

Regardless of whether there is a pattern that you like seeing or that you don’t, ask yourself these important questions:

• Are you devoting time to what makes you the happiest?
• Are you devoting time to what you would miss doing when you’re dying?
• Do you now know what is most important?
• Is your life aligned?
• If your life isn’t aligned, what can you do about it?
• Are you living your life according to your CHOSEN priorities or to your DEFAULT priorities?

I Can Sense What You’re Asking

You’re probably asking yourself right now, can’t I have a religion, a spiritual practice and love in my life?

Of course!

Having one does not prevent you from having another.

We’re simply engaging in this conversation to see if by chance, love is a religion, or love is a spiritual practice.

Let’s Gracefully Enter The Controversial Subject

People say that you should love your Creator above all else

But your Creator is in other people.

Bottom line is: if people don’t love those other people, who will love them?

In other words, put yourself in their shoes. How do you feel and know about your Creator’s love (if you believe in a Creator) in a terrestrial/physical level?

Answer: Through people.

When you’re lost, you’re crying inconsolably, or going through an incredibly tough time, who actually comforts you?

Usually, people.

They uplift you through words, through actions, through hugs, by sharing their experiences, by holding your hand, offering their shoulder to cry on, and giving you encouragement and hope.

Can you get some comfort by your Creator himself/herself? Yes. But my point is people are instruments of your Creator’s love.

And if you don’t believe in a Creator, my point is people are loving and capable of giving you comfort when needed (not all people of course, but most).

Without people, the Creator’s love would be more intangible than it is.

I’m saying this not to minimize whom you believe in, but rather to increase your power and YOUR potential to uplift the world.

Is Religion and Spirituality Useful To Some People?

Yes.

But it’s especially useful when people don’t practice either religion or spirituality to see what blessing, miracle, life-saving response, peace or well-being they can get, but rather, what goodness they can give to the world.

So be love and act on love to help others.

Simply, Be

One of my favorite quotations and one that hasn’t left my desk for more than 10 years says:

“Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.” -St. Francis De Sales

It’s been a constant reminder for me to be who I am, meaning my essence… and not a label with all sorts of expectations that labels often come with.

And when my life has been out of alignment, it has been painful to read this quotation and notice how out of alignment I am, but at the same time, it’s been my best tool for letting go of things in my life that are not me.

Some people may use this quotation to justify how religious they are.

Others may try to use it to justify how spiritual they are.

Me?

I don’t like labels, because I know that they’re mostly “items” on a body. Like clothing. But they’re not the actual body. And as I said, they come with all sorts of expectation baggage.

Have I been or am I religious? Yes. But whether I’ve been or not doesn’t matter.

Have I been or am I spiritual? Yes. But whether I’ve been or not doesn’t matter, either.

I prefer being.

Not striving to be something, but being myself.

Not trying to convince myself or others that I am someone, but rather convincing myself that what I’m doing, what I’m acting on, what I’m thinking, what I’m wanting to do is really me. Makes sense?

I like things to feel natural, not forced.

It’s like not having a “practice,” but doing the deed.

Going with the flow is ACTUALLY living, instead of living hypothetically.

It’s helping where it’s needed instead of helping make a difference on a topic that I dream of making…. especially to those around me in my life, which I may otherwise overlook in wanting to change the world or increase my “score” as a religious or spiritual being.

In other words, if I’m kind or unkind, it’s because of me. Not because I am spiritual or not spiritual. Not because I am religious or not religious. Taking responsibility for my actions.

And the label that I feel the most comfortable with is “love.”

We are created out of love, we are love, our greatest legacy will be love, the only thing we’ll take with us when we pass is love, and the most meaningful thing we can leave behind is love.

Enough said, right?

If Religion and Spirituality is Beneficial, Why Do I Identify With Love The Most?

Two things were key in determining why identify with love the most.

1. Which of these 3 things has the most potential for universal good?
2. Which of these 3 things does the world need the most?
3. Which of these 3 things would allow me to leave my footprint on the world in the best way for the benefit of others?

Clearly, the answer is love.

Why? Because…

If we devoted as much attention to love as we did to religion and spirituality combined, our world would be different, and definitely, more peaceful.” -Haydee Montemayor

Love on its own does not create wars or alienation, but religion has and continues to. It’s very unfortunate.

Spirituality often raises skepticism.

But even love is not free of “faults”:

Religion, spirituality and even love become controversial when there are differences involved that are misunderstood. So it’s our job to understand, or at the very least, accept them, and move on.” – Haydee Montemayor

The best way to increase a religion’s effectiveness and a spiritual practice’s trust is through genuine love.

So Can Religion, Spirituality and Love Coexist?

Yes, they can coexist and should coexist in the following way:

Each of these topics form the lines of a triangle. The bottom of the triangle must be love, in my opinion. If it’s not love, we wisely say, that the foundation of a religion or a spiritual practice is “shaky.”

Religion and spirituality run into problems when there is no genuine love that supports them.

So, Is Love A Religion Or A Spiritual Practice?

Needless to say, I believe that love is neither. It is its own separate entity.

It is and should truly be the foundation of all things, including religions, spiritual practice and our day to day interactions with ourselves and the people around us.

It’s interesting to note that we are born “spirit”-ual, meaning of the spirit, but we are not born religious. We become or don’t become religious. That’s what Baptisms and being born again often allude to. And being religious is a choice not an inherent quality.

In my mind, the best “religion” and the one that all religions should truly incorporate, spread, foster, give and use as their criteria to do anything is Love.

And the best spiritual practice we could have is to actually love.

Don’t get caught up in the symbols, names, rituals or lack thereof, get caught up in the love.

Religions aren’t bad. Spirituality isn’t either. They can both be great for humanity as a whole when love is both at their core and in every action it inspires. Love should be the what runs through the veins of religion and spiritual practice. Love, after all, is what makes the heart pump.

At the end of the day should just allow our goodness shine through.

People should be able to tell what the main “ingredient” that we are made of is.

We should just be. We should just love.

It’s Your Turn

So yes, I told you this Love and Treasure topic was going to be controversial. But, I hope you notice the lingering essence of it. I hope you feel the love right now. I hope you feel the possibility of what you can do with love.

If we realized that our common denominator is love, and just let other people choose our own religion just like we chose what milk to drink or avoid it entirely, this topic wouldn’t be so touchy.

We are much more alike than we want to admit.

Why don’t we admit it more easily?

Because we think that there is something other than love that is worth arguing over, when in fact, Love is all there is.

So tell me:

• What do you think, feel, know: Is love a religion or a spiritual practice?

The answer to the question “Is Love Ever A Luxury?” depends on how you look at it, because a necessity for one person may be a luxury for another.

And a luxury for one person, may be a necessity for the next.

In A Way, Love Is NOT A Luxury

Love is not a luxury in the sense that you are ALREADY entitled to love no matter what.

It does not matter what:
• your education is
• your socioeconomic status is
• the size of your home is
• the size of your bank account is
• you’ve done in your past
• you haven’t done in your past

No glory detail or gory detail of your past entitles you to love nor excludes you from it.

You cannot do enough to deserve love or do so little that you’re unworthy of it.

The amount of love you earn in this world is not an indication of your worth. -Haydee Montemayor

Read that last sentence again.

Still doesn’t sink in? Read it again, if you need to.

You deserve love just because. Period.

Whether Love Is Fair And Equal Or Not Is Up For Discussion

This is just about the time where your ego may say:

“Wait a minute!”

“You mean everybody deserves love?”

The answer is yes.

What your ego is really wanting to ask is:

“So then, I can act however I want and do whatever I want because everybody no matter the harm that they do is deserving of love and will get love anyway?”

The answer is a multilayered one.

Yes, you can do whatever you want. However, how good you feel with how you act and what you do will depend on your values.

Most importantly, keep in mind that there is no exact return on the investment of your love.

You cannot control what you get from someone after you give them your love.

It’s like an investment.

Sometimes you win…. and you get beautiful love in return that fills your heart.

Sometimes you lose and end up broken hearted.

But remember this:

Love without expecting anything in return except to feel good. -Haydee Montemayor

Yes. Love because it makes YOU feel good.

That way, whether you get something in return or not isn’t that important.

It’s like helping a stranger in need. You give because you are inspired to give. Giving makes you feel good. If the stranger says thank you or not, uses it to bless his/her life or to further sink into despair, is not something you can control.

There are ONLY 4 things you can control when it comes to love:

• the quality of your love
• the frequency of your love (how often you give love)
• how you express it
• the intention with which you give it.

Focus On What You Can Control When You Give and Receive Love and Forget About What You Can’t Control

Wouldn’t it be nice if you got back as much as or more love than what you gave?

Actually, it would be “fair.” But, think about it.

The greatest people that lived in the past and are living today didn’t get as much love as they deserved.

Yeah, perhaps they lived with a “my cup is so darn FULL” mentality that they probably didn’t notice the love that they were missing or being denied.

Except, of course, when people overtly directed hatred toward them.

Nobody has been, is, or will ever be exempt to hatred, or indifference, unfortunately.

• Not the people whom religions are based on
• Not the saints
• Not the greatest historical heroes

Even in the present:
The kindest person that you know is usually not the one who has the most love.

This can often be seen in marriages. The kindest husbands often don’t have the most loving, most self-less, most helpful or most giving wives.

If you can’t see it, think about the most wonderful, “angelic” woman you know. Does she have a husband that is as utterly giving as her? No.

Have you noticed that?

It’s a generalization, of course. So this situation is not always the case, but it happens. And often.

In A Way, Love IS a Luxury

By luxury, I don’t mean the kind of thing that you shouldn’t have because it’s “too” expensive.

Love is affordable for everyone, but you have to work at maintaining it, growing it and improving it.

You can get love for free, but you have to invest in it continuously.

You have to maintain, grow and improve love like nothing else…. because love is delicate while being the strongest force. It’s elusive and it’s present.

You Literally Can’t Buy Love

There has never been, nor is there currently a fancy store that sells love (no matter how much they try to convince you otherwise).

They may sell symbols of love, like a diamond, for example, but not love itself.

But if there was a store that did sell love, it would be more expensive than any designer bag, jewel, designer pair of shoes, expensive phone or luxury car.

People often say that you can’t buy love and it’s not just that they don’t sell it… it’s that even if they did sell love, it would be too expensive.

It would cost more than anything you own and everything you have ever bought.

It would be a luxury that very few could afford.

The beautiful REALITY is, that you already have love. LOTS of it. An INFINITE amount of it, to be exact.

So that, my friend, makes you a billionaire.

You Wouldn’t Trade Love For The World

You know, both consciously and subconsciously that love is SOOO precious to you, that you wouldn’t give up your ability to love for any amount of money.

Most of you wouldn’t sell the people you most love for any price either.

You wouldn’t want to give up the love that you receive and you most treasure for any price.

So love really IS the most valuable thing you have.

You wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Human Beings Are The Only People Who Can Communicate Love With Both Words and Actions

Yes, your pet loves you and so does Mother Nature, but they can’t verbally tell you that.

So what this means is that since you are the only one who can give love conscientiously, deliberately, verbally and nonverbally, and with an awareness of how valuable love is, YOU are the most luxurious love container there is.

Move over crystal, gold, leather, mink, etc., because they’re pale compared to you! 🙂

Really!

Does crystal, gold, leather, mink give people joy?

Yes… for a short while.

But you have been giving love to people since you were born.

How old are you again?

____ years (fill in your own age)

That’s how long the impact of your presence and your love has lasted.

There should be a label on you that says “Giving love since _____ (the year you were born).”

I know it sounds absurd perhaps to think of yourself as a container of love, but you are the container and most importantly, you are the love.

So much so, that when you pass, you will still be the love.

Your love, will never, ever, ever, ever, die.

THAT is everlasting luxury. 🙂

Are Some Loves More Valuable Than Others?

You betcha!

They’re equal, generally speaking, because they have an equal inherent/original value… which it has simply because it is love.

But there’s no denying that your love is more valuable to some, than it is to others.

And there are loves in your life that you treasure more than others.

And that’s okay.

What Determines A Love’s Value?

How valuable someone’s love is depends on:

• its inherent/original value (which is great to begin with)
• the quality of the love at any given moment,
• how frequently they give you that love (which influences how used to you are to receiving it)
• how they express it
• the intention behind it
• the love needs of the person receiving it and
• the love needs of the person giving it (surprised by this? Think how many people love while expecting something in return).

And I want to compare loves not out of a “she gives better love than I do” mentality, that all it does is promote jealousy, comparison and offended egos, but out of a deep invitation for YOU to evaluate YOUR love.

Are you offering a high quality love most of the time to people who truly should be getting your love?

Or are you throwing love at the wall to see what sticks?

Remember love is valuable.

Don’t cast/throw your pearls to the swines (pigs).

Make Sure Your Quality of Love is Exceptional

During Christmas time people often say that if you don’t have too much money to give gifts, that you should give love.

I say that we should offer our love in such a way that it is better than any gift you can give whether or not you have money and regardless of what time of year it is.

In other words, imagine that love is the only thing that could make the holidays and life in general, joyous and aim to love like that.

Don’t use physical gifts as a clutch to diminish your love… EVER, whether it’s a birthday, an anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas.

Imagine how much more stress-free, debt-free and simply FREE we would be if we loved like this!

Love should be our main focus in our day to day living and the rest should fill in the gaps. It shouldn’t be the other way around.

Remember, gifts are perishable and transient, you are eternal.

Give more of yourself. The BEST version of yourself.

That’s the gift people in your life really want.

It’s Your Turn

What a delicious topic, isn’t it? Love a luxurious topic indeed. What are your opinions?

• Is love luxury?
• Most importantly, are you honoring your love as the luxury that it is?
• Are you giving your love to others in a luxurious way… better than any gift they’ll ever have?
• Or do you just go about your life hoping that the people around you “get” how much you’re loving them?

Please leave your comments down below. Subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already. The deliciousness of all there is to be said about love is just getting started.

At first glance, most people would probably think that this is an absurd question and would immediately want to answer that no, love is NOT a taboo. Before trying to sweep that question under the rug, however, they would question why I would EVER think that something as beautiful as love is a taboo.

As a matter of fact, they would wonder why I, of all people, being someone who loves talking about love would ask this question ESPECIALLY if there is the slightest possibility that love might be a taboo.

Wait a minute, they would say.
What are you talking about?
And why are you talking about love, anyway?

My answer? Because I believe that love has become a taboo in our society. It shouldn’t be a taboo, but it is.

Don’t Believe That We Treat Love Like a Taboo?

Then tell me:

• Why is it that news stations hardly ever talk about love?
• Why is it that many modern love songs, shows and movies are usually about everything except the purest form of love?
  • Come on, you know what I mean. The “love” that we often get to experience via the media is often a “get laid quick” version of what some people think is love.
  • And you know how much that kind of media messes people up.
  • Why? Because simply put, it distorts the line between love that is “good enough” and love that is actually good.
• Why is love not the main topic in most people’s conversations, social media, life or to-do list?
• What are we running from?
• What are we scared of?
• Is love that bad?

The truth is, love is soooo good that it’s “bad.” This means that we can’t even handle love.

Our relationship with love is a prime example of how we do one thing and say another.

Simply put, we say that love matters to us and that it’s important, but we don’t want to be caught loving.

Love Is A Juggling Act, The Most Important One There Is, Actually

You know how people say that life feels like a juggling act?

Well, to some of you, love is like a ball made of porcelain, glass, crystal or whatever seems so precious to you that you don’t even want to juggle it. You prefer juggling many other things. As a matter of fact, you look for extra things to juggle just so you don’t have to juggle love. Or even touch love. Much less caress love.

As much as we say that we are pursuing happiness, one of the greatest discoveries that I’ve had is that the feeling that we’re most terrified of is joy.

Brenée Brown, a highly acclaimed researcher taught me this.

And I’m not a academic researcher, but it’s not hard for me to draw the conclusion that most of us, are as afraid, if not more afraid of love as we are afraid of joy. Think about it. What gives you the greatest joy? Who gives you the greatest joy?

In a nutshell, it’s:

•  to love
• to be loved
• to experience things we love
• our loved ones — Do you notice the name, by the way? We don’t call these people the “joyous ones” or the “burdensome ones” (although they might be). We refer to them as recipients of our love… meaning, our “loved ones.”

And yet despite how much joy these people in our life naturally bring us, we so often deliberately opt to not juggle that ball of love because we are afraid that:

• it’ll break
• that we’ll literally drop the ball and
• that we’re not good enough to juggle the ball.

So we often don’t juggle. We tell ourselves that we are to make ourselves feel better, but we don’t juggle.

And I think that just so that we are not tempted to infuse our lives, our beings and the world with love, we treat love like a taboo.

But we’re doing ourselves and those around us suuuucccch a disservice.

Love shouldn’t be what we get to after everything on our to-do list is done. Our to-do list should be to focus on who to love and to serve the world using what we most love about ourselves.

Anything other than that is simply waisting our time.

Love isn’t a ball to juggle. It’s the most important juggling act you need to do.

And the only fear that you should have is that you don’t love everybody you were put on this earth to love in a way that it makes their life and yours worthwhile before it’s too late.

Symptoms In Our Language That Love Is A Taboo

The reason I wanted to explore this question is because, often in our society, love is avoided to the point that we can start to wonder if it’s a taboo or not… although as you can see, society at large avoids love as much as each of us avoids really diving deep into love.

So it’s interesting to explore why love continues to be a taboo…. and why it hasn’t died down with any generation.

We often hear phrases such as:

• Leave your emotions out of it.
• Don’t be a wimp.
• Think with your head, not with your heart. (Even though we associate the head with coldness– like cold temperature).
• Make a calculated decision. (What does that even mean??? Are we calculators or human BEINGS?)
• You shouldn’t wear your heart on your sleeve. (To which we should respond, “I wear my heart on my heart… and like it that way.” Besides, the heart’s location won’t make it feel more or less as long as it’s alive and pumping).
• And the famous one that sensitive people hear all the time and no many how many times they hear it, it doesn’t help is: Don’t be so sensitive.

And with phrases like these, we start to be conditioned and encouraged to keep our feelings ours, meaning private.

It’s unnatural.

But we do it.
We put on the armor.
And go into life.. guarded, protected… almost unsensitized.
And because circumstances, other people and sometimes even our own personality weaknesses take us down, we think…. “Hmm… maybe keeping my love to myself is not so unnatural after all.”

And the secrecy prevails.

The taboo is “justified.”

The Conditioning Starts Early

In school, falling in love with a classmate can be a reason for ridicule (possibly for years) if you make your feelings public, and especially if his/her friends find out about it.

You think: REALLY? Loving someone is something that I need to be made fun of for?

Nowadays, it seems that it’s more of a taboo to say “I love you,” than to say “I hate you.”

Sadly, if someone said that they hate you or gave you that vibe, you would do what you’re able to do so well and that is to “dust yourself off and move on.” You know the drill.

But if someone at work, from your past, whom you just met, whom you’ve had your eye on or from a common group of friends said “I love you,” you wouldn’t know what to do with this phrase.

You would freeeaaak out!

Haven’t you heard what you say to yourself or you would say to others (meaning those who would pinky-swear-and-hope-to-die that they wouldn’t ever say a word about this to any other single soul)?

You say, “Oh my gosh!!!! He/she used the “L-word.”

• You wouldn’t know what to “make of it.” (Do you need to make anything of it, by the way? Just thinking out loud).
• What’s okay to say?
• How should you react?
• What should you do with that information?
• Should you share that information? Oh gosh, no! No, no, no!
• And now what?

You would freak out some more.

You would replay the scene over and over in your head.

The Code of Love

Speaking of replaying your thoughts and internal/external dialogue.

I have three questions for you:

Really? They used the “L-word”? Do you notice how we can’t even say the word “love” as easily?

Love, as you can see, clearly is a taboo if we have to use code for it, we hardly talk about it and we fear doing it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful to hear that someone genuinely loves you, but after hearing that, it really can get complicated. But if we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we are great at complicating the matter even more.

It’s not that love is complicated, it’s that we are.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Ways In Which We Complicate Love

In romance,

• we do it so much it’s not even funny. Yeah, we do love our partner, but do we keep our love fresh? Do we leave the drama out of it? Do we show our partner in every way that we’ve dreamed of that we love them? Didn’t think so.

Within our own family,

• we’re usually there for one another how family is supposed to be, but if these family members were our friends, judging by the amount of love they consistently, with no prompting and no sense of obligation give us, would they be more like our best friends or more like our acquaintances?
  • Of course, there are family members who congruently show that they adore you, but the main question is why do the people whom you know love you don’t actually show it? (Good luck on answering that one).

In the workplace,

• we have to walk the fine line of showing people our appreciation without going overboard.

In friendships,

• we often think of a million ways to show our caring without becoming too annoyingly sweet. Why? Because people don’t like to get all the love they can get, it seems. Even in friendships, there’s some sort of mistrust. It’s better to try to impress people who have no regard for you instead of focusing on the friends who’ve shown you throughout the years that they’re worth your time. You are even mistrustful yourself. You even question compliments. You think that your friends only say and do nice things because they’re friendly but not because you deserve it.

And we may have hit the nail on the head.

You Control The Taboo

How comfortable you are with talking about love, receiving love and actually loving others will dictate the quality of your love life and how fulfilled you are with it.

So you can continue to live in a guarded way to feel protected…. suspicious and undeserving of love.

Or you can reduce how much of a taboo love is for you and feel more fulfilled.

That’s something to analyze.

Don’t worry, if you’re thinking, “oh my gosh, this is tough and painful, and I don’t want to even make a choice right now” you’re not alone.

I often go back and forth between how much love to give myself. At times, I think it’s like walking on a tightrope. Too tense for my taste not because I want it to be tense but because I’ve noticed how most people have different love tolerances. They are a bit hesitant about openly embracing love… which means live it, share it, talk about it, and prefer it over any negativity, gossip or show… and most importantly, devote time to it.

The Blog’s Title Started It All

As a matter of fact, two questions “Is Love a Taboo?” and “Why Are We Treating Love Like It’s a Taboo?” were fundamental in the creation of this site.

That’s why having conversations about love so important to me.

I have a profound faith in humanity, in myself and in my loved ones and I know that no matter how much we make love a taboo knowingly or unknowingly, in reality, it’s not our nature.

How Do I Know This?

Now that were connected through the Internet, as one huge family, I can see that the videos or topic that go viral are those that have love at it’s core.

Why?

Because love, more than being a taboo, is fascinating. No amount of protecting our feelings and hiding our love will allow us to enjoy love or life at large more. Either we share love, or we lose it.

Love In The Open. With a Spiritual Naked Soul… Without Worrying If Nobody’s Watching Or If Everybody Is

We have to be open to “love in the open.” We have to risk our hearts, risk our joy, risk being seen because otherwise we will be living as the shadows of who we are. And our life will be darker and flatter than it needs to be.

Literally, it is best to love in a way that puts love on display for everybody to see what is truly meant to be positively showcased.

After all, love is hardly ever something to be ashamed of.

And if you do feel like you’re ashamed in some way, it usually means that you’re compromising on your values and are settling on participating in a love relationship that is “good enough” instead of good.

But if you know, deep in your gut that you are loving the right person, instead of focusing on how much you love and how you show them that you love them, you should simply LOVE.

At the end of the day, it’s not a matter of loving in a wrong way or in a right way, it’s a matter of loving them in a way that’s right for them… and make them truly feel loved.

In other words, it’s not you who ultimately decides the love that you should be giving… you’re simply a broadcasting station sending out the signal.

The most critical thing is that your loved ones receive the love in a way that is clear, is enjoyable, makes memories and makes their time on Earth worthwhile.

You’ll get a great feeling by how well they’re receiving your signal based on how happy they are when they’re around you.

• Do you uplift them?
• Do you suck the energy out of them?
• Or do you not even have the power to shift their energy?

When things are not a secret anymore and you know what to look for, love can improve. So can your life. And so can the world.

So let’s refuse for love to be a taboo.

Either we teach the children in our life to love or the world will teach them to fear, to doubt, to hate, to discriminate and to have no regard for others.

It’s Your Turn

• Do you agree that love is a taboo or do you have a different opinion?
• What examples do you see on our planet?

Please share in the comments below.

Can We and Should We Define Love?

So much has been written about love, that it almost seems impossible to condense all that has been said about it and everything love is, into one tiny definition.

Any definition on the word “love,” no matter how good it is, doesn’t seem to do love justice.

So in this post, I want to invite you to savor the balance of being both specific and general when you refer to love.

I also want to share beautiful quotations about love that are both general and specific. Poetic and practical.

In other words, we can talk about how huge love is and enjoy that thought and we can also talk about what exactly love is (as best we can) and enjoy those definitions, at least momentarily.

Why momentarily? Because love means different things to different people. And that’s okay.

When The Definition Of Love Confuses You

In reality, love often means different things to the same person. In other words, you have different definitions of love, and if I told you to tell me in 5 seconds what it is, you would find that challenging.

Why? Because love means different things to you.

For example:

1. Love is what you say it is.
2. It is what you believe that it is.
3. And love is how you act/ show your affection.

Ideally, all of these 3 things should align, but they sometimes don’t.

For example, you may say you love someone, but you may choose:

• not to show that person your love with your actions, or even your words
• talk to that person like your friend and simultaneously,
• believe that love, in general, is not for you, and that you’ll never find someone.

And if you’re dissatisfied and/or confused with love in a situation like this, it shouldn’t be a surprise, now, should it?

You’re attracting the experiences into your life that make what you say, believe and demonstrate regarding love to be true for you.

Other people may not be experiencing your dysfunctional relationship with love in the way that you’re experiencing it, so your perception of love is unique to you.

By the way, does the phrase “dysfunctional relationship with love” ring true for you? If you’re really honest with yourself, there is at least one person in your life that you have this “I love you but I choose not to let you feel loved” relationship with… or something along those lines. We all do.

The trick to having love that enhances your life instead of the type of notions about love that disintegrate all of your relationships is to have a definition that you can apply to the vast majority of people, and making sure that you truly believe that you can live, have and thrive the sort of love that you envision.

Love Needs Fine-Tuning

The way that love acts in our life is like an instrument that is out of tune and that needs to get tuned. All of us go through periods where our definition of love and the love that we ultimately experience are not aligned. The sooner we notice these misalignments, the faster we can fix them.

But just like with instruments, you have to know that you need to check in on the love inside of you very often. For some people it’s minute by minute (especially in a difficult situation), for others it’s daily, but it should never be more than once a week.

The way that you can tell if your love needs balancing is if you know that your belief about love, your nonverbal expression about love and your verbal expression about love don’t align.

And what should you do when you notice this?

You should literally, redefine love.

What Should You Keep In Mind As You Explore Love Definitions?

Have you ever been to an art gallery?

If so, do you remember, walking quietly in front of each piece of artwork, just admiring it, and allowing for your conclusions about what you were seeing to float in your mind?

Your thoughts just came and went. They went and came.

And you remembered what you’ve heard so many times before, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Being exposed to other people’s definitions about love is like being exposed to different art pieces.

You may like them, you may not.

But ultimately, it’s their expression.

Leave Or Take Their Expression, Instead, Focus on Yours

The important thing that you should notice when it comes to other people’s definitions about love is that it’s their perception and their creation.

What they share holds true for them… either momentarily, like in a photo, or permanently like a stone etching.

You’re welcome to admire the words in other people’s definitions and ask yourself if their words hold true for you. They may or may not.

Whether they do or don’t is not really crucial because in the end, it’s your definition that matters in your life. You need to take ownership of what love means to you.

Why? Because your love definition is like an invitation from your soul to live the life you have imagined and which will make you happy.

Sounds, deep to some of you, and airy-fairy to the rest.

But really think about it. Without incorporating the definition of love into your life, you can have a great life, but not the best life. You can have a life that you can feel thankful for, but maybe not a life that makes you feel utterly complete and fulfilled.

The Impact Of Love Is Real

The fact that love can determine your happiness and fulfillment in life, sounds exaggerated, I know, but according to Tony Robbins, some of the main areas of life are relationships, emotions and money.

If you look closely, you’ll see that all of these areas have to do with love, especially relationships and emotions.

Perhaps most shocking, is the fact that Tony Robbins also recognizes that one of the biggest causes of hitting a plateau or slump in life is having issues in your love relationship.

No matter how hard you try or how much you can conceal, you often can’t give your personal best in your work if your romantic relationship is suffering? Not because you’re not resilient enough, but simply, because you’re not immune to the absence of love or to it’s sometimes shaky nature.

Given that we’ve lived long enough to experience love, we don’t need a thesis on it to know that love is:
A. Important
B. A huge part of our life
C. Something that defines the quality of our life
D. The glue that keeps most of our life together and that without love in general, our life can fall apart.
E. Literally, something personal

What Is Your Love Definition?

In just a moment, you’ll be creating your own definition of what love means to you. Remember, value what you come up with.

I know that it feels intrusive. And that it feels like you’re asking yourself to define something that you consider is huge and beyond your total comprehension.

But remember, your definition can turn out to be a photo of love, meaning a quick little snapshot of it…. or a monument.

What it is, doesn’t matter… what matters is that you listen it and that you honor it.

One of the best definitions for a love in general that I can come up with is this:

In other words, love is flying and helping other people fly.

My romantic love definitions are:

What is your own love definition?

1. Print out the Love and Treasure this Moment of Introspection- Love Is- The Truth About The Definition of Love PDF.

2.  Jot down your definition.

3. Post your definition somewhere where you can see it. (Such as in your bathroom, office, wallet, or create a digital version or take a photo to save it on your computer screensaver, mobile screensaver).

4. From time to time ask yourself how well your definition of love is serving you. If it’s not, create a new one and/or make the changes necessary in your life to make sure that your love aligns.

What Other Love Definitions Have People Come Up with?

Literature, movies, songs and even modern social media sites are filled with wonderful definitions of love.

Some are long definitions, some are short.

These are some of the best quotations on love that I’ve seen:
1. “When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No … don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? But it is!” from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières
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Your Turn To Share Your Wisdom Tokens

I hope you enjoyed the love gallery. 🙂

In the comments below, please share what your favorite definition of love is. It can be your own definition or somebody else’s. And if it’s your own definition, say so with pride! 🙂

I’d love to hear your definition of love!!

I’d love the comments below to be like an art gallery.

Please help me to make it beautiful.