Author: Haydee Montemayor

6 Things You Can Do to Make Sure You Jingle Instead of Clash at Your Family Holiday Gathering

In this time of year, when everyone’s time deprived, sleep deprived and patience deprived, it’s important to be extra emotionally intelligent and empathic toward one another, particularly with our family. This is especially true if you don’t have the opportunity to spend much time with them during the rest of the year. Before your personalities clash, make them JINGLE instead. Simply remember and apply the following 6 tips for having one of your most peaceful Christmases ever.
Focus on your own jingle instead of focusing on that of others.
Focus on your own jingle instead of focusing on that of others.
Just be present- it allows you to engage with others with a lucid and peaceful mind.
Ignore the nonsensical comments which aren’t crucial or detrimental to anyone’s soul
Never start a family fight yourself. Without assumptions, get to the root of the problem peacefully.
Give a family member a second chance if needed- we all make mistakes
Love each member of your family as much as possible and in the way they need to be loved
Embrace this Holiday Season because you never know if it’s the last one you’ll spend together
Sounds simple right? While this may be easier said than done, it’s totally possible. You already have too much self-imposed drama in your life anyway, so for just one day, give yourself and those whom you most love the gift of peace– it’ll be a priceless and memorable gift. Just like each snowflake is unique an unrepeatable, each of your family members carries their own “tune.”
While it may seem like the “tune” that each of your family members carry can’t possibly be complimentary, if each member jingles their “tune” softly, you’ll notice that the melody will be beautiful anyway.

Now It’s Your Turn to Share Your Wisdom Tokens

We can all use some tips for getting along better with the family. What are yours? Please share them below.

7 Unique Tips for Preventing Your Baby From Crying on Santa’s Lap

People say the Holidays are a stressful time of year. Have you ever stopped to wonder whether the Holidays are a stressful time for your baby? Perhaps it’s stressful for them, perhaps it isn’t. What you can know for sure is that regardless of the time of year that it is, your baby (and children in general), need love. Yep, love. So, as much as possible, and for your happiness and theirs, try to let go of the expectations for a “perfect Holiday Season” (whatever that means). That way, you’re pleasantly surprised, instead of bitterly disillusioned.

Tips for Preventing Your Baby From Crying on Santa’s Lap

Here are seven tips to help your little one meet Santa with grace.
1. Whether or not your child cries on Santa’s lap starts much sooner than their first encounter with Santa. It starts with their interaction they’ve had with you since the day they were born. Are you there for your child in the good times and bad? If you are, you’ll notice how comfortable your child probably is with people he/she comes across. And in the rare event that your child is uncomfortable with someone, as long as you’ve been there to acknowledge his/her feelings, your child’s social interactions with others is bound to be positive.
2. When random people show interest in your baby, you talk to those people in a normal manner and encourage your baby to politely engage with them. The key here is for you to strike a balance between being overly friendly and being overly dry when talking to others. The way that you interact with the world is important for your child. You are their role model for how to treat others. Most importantly (and perhaps most surprisingly), you teach your child in the most subtle, subconscious and overt ways whether the world is a dangerous place that’s out to get them, or if the world is a friendly place, that has their back. As you know, this simple belief is a strong determining factor in how successful, happy and at peace any individual, little or big is… so hopefully, you’re able to teach your children the emotional intelligence that they need.
3. Make great use of the abundance of holiday songs that you can listen to during this season. If you show enthusiasm, joy and interest in the holiday songs, characters and traditions, your child will most likely have a positive approach to Santa, and most things Christmas.
4. Whenever you’re about to meet someone new, don’t you like to know a little bit about that person? Most likely, you like to read about them or even see a picture of them. So when it comes to preparing your little one to meet Santa, what do you think works best? Holiday books, of course! Show your child pictures about Santa and read books about Santa’s adventures. This will not only put your little one more at ease about Santa, but he/she will acquire literary skills, vocabulary and metacognition about this jolly old fellow that your’e so excited for your child to meet.
5. Think about it. If you were a baby sitting in Santa’s lap for the first time, what would distract you? Most likely, it’s Santa hat and the uniform. So, while it’s unlikely that you have an all-out Santa suit in your home, you probably do have a Santa hat. Wear the Santa hat. Wear it normally and refer to it as something that is cute rather than something that is bizarre. As much as possible, in order to prevent your child from finding anything else about Santa’s attire scary, such as the beard, hair or eyes, refrain from scaring your child with anything, especially monsters. Nowadays, monsters come in so many shapes, sizes and colors that no wonder it’s easy for children to see “scary” in any random thing.
6. Plan for your child to meet Santa at the best time for your child, when he/she is well fed, clean, well groomed and well rested. When you arrive to the destination where your child is going to meet Santa, let him/her observe other children on Santa’s lap. While they’re looking at what he/she is about to experience, talk to him/her about it. You can say things like, “Look at the dress that little girl is wearing. Isn’t it beautiful?” or “Oh, look at that baby on Santa’s lap. He looks comfortable.” or “Look at Santa, he seems like a friendly person.” or “Look at that mommy, she’s taking a picture of her child.” or “I like the way that the baby smiles at mommy.” Be sure that your energy is positive, light and calm so that your child has the best opportunity to ease into this experience.
7. When the moment of truth arrives and it’s your child’s turn to sit on Santa’s lap, talk to your baby. Tell him/her “Do you want to take a photo with Santa? Let’s go sit with Santa.” Sit the baby on Santa’s lap. Encourage your baby to look at the camera in a calm, cheery manner. You can say, “Look how beautiful you look.” If your baby does look at the camera, great. If not, that’s perfectly okay. Let your baby be. Take the picture. Pick up your child from Santa’s lap. Thank Santa. Say bye to Santa. Encourage your child to say bye as well. That’s it. Let life flow and don’t dwell on whether the picture was superb or not. Your child’s happiness and stress-free interactions with the world are more important than anything at this moment. Come to think of it, if you notice carefully, you’ll see that your child’s personality came through beautifully in that photo. Cherish that personality that your child’s soul is expressing above anything else. After all, this season is meant to be among the happiest times of the year, although with a happy baby that you’re in tune with, any day can be as happy as the next. And that is what living a happy life made of.

Share your Wisdom Treasure Tokens

Do you have any tips for how to encourage a positive interaction between you and your baby? Please leave a comment below that can help our children enjoy meeting Santa and the Holiday Season in general.

Happy Holidays to you and your little ones!

The Best (and Continuously Improving) U.S. Cloth Diaper that Your Baby Should Use

The Best (and Continuously Improving) U.S Cloth Diaper that Your Baby Should Use

If at the sound of “cloth diaper” you have a negative association, such as cringing or sticking out your tongue, you are in for a real treat. Why? Because when it comes to cloth diapers, they don’t make things as BAD as they used to. In other words, diapers today are much better than they were in the past. Trust me!

Which Diaper Brand is Best?

After much research, I have found that Fuzzibunz is the best diaper brand for the reasons described below:

  • the cloth used for the exterior and the interior is high quality and will maintain its appearance well
  • the exterior is smooth and flattering on the baby
  • the interior is super cozy and absorbent
  • your baby will rarely have any accidents with Fuzzibunz and a “number one” type accident is more common than a “number two” accident. And the Lord knows, if you’re going to have either one of these accidents, it is much better to have a “number one” type of accident.
  • at first glance, the buttons may seem like a little “bit” too many, but, they are intuitively easy to use

Why Some Parents Don’t Want Their Babies to Wear Cloth DIapers and Why They Should

Below are some of the myths surrounding why cloth diapering is a rag. Read for yourself to see where you stand on this dilemma.

  • Cloth diapers are expensive: While a a Fuzzibunz diaper usually costs you about $20.00, these $20.00 that you spend in a diaper is reusable for the baby that you bought it for and for all of the babies to come. As a result, this money will not go either down the drain or down a landfill.

Courtesy of www.fuzzibunz.com There’s no denying that cloth diapers are a bit of an investment, but at the going price of diapers these days, $25.26 for a pack of 100 size 1 diapers, a little introspection can make the obvious even more obvious to you. Disposable diapers are super expensive. Many newborns can easily use up 10 diapers a day, which means that the 100 disposable diaper box, that you thought was going to last forever, will only last about 10 days. Roughly, you would be spending more than $75.00 a month on diapers. And $75 the next month… and again, and again. Who wouldn’t want to save more than $2,500 in a span of 3 years by using cloth diapers instead of disposable diapers? While the prize may still sound steep, you should not feel turned off by the prize yet. There are promos thst happen throughout the year that can allow you to save more. Sometimes special print patterns will go on sale  Abd you’ll be able to get 6 diapers for the prize of 5. And you can increase the savings even more by buying bundles of 6 or more, even though you don’t get the opportunity to hand-pick the colors of these diapers. These savings have worked so well for me that I haven’t needed to resort to yet another cost saving tip that you believe exists! Did you know that there are sites that specialize in selling gently used cloth diapers? As I said, I haven’t bought used cloth diapers yet, even though I hear that they’re wonderful quality, believe it or not.

  • Another common complaint is that Fuzzibunz are hard to wash –As you know, and excuse me in advance for being so blunt, the majority of the time, when you go to a restroom, you go #1 instead of #2, so the majority of the cloth diapers that you’ll have to handle will be wet instead of soiled. And for those that are soiled, two simple things can solve the “problem.” A) either the poop is “ploppable” (meaning you can plop the vast majority down the toilet) or B) you can eliminate the rest of the soil by spraying it away with water. Where and how is up to you. As a matter of fact, there is a popular shield on Amazon that can take the grossness away. It’s called the Spray Pal. It’s a shield to protect your bathroom walls. Or if you are the outdoorsy type and/or you don’t want to risk splashing anything in your bathroom, you can use a hose nozzle. By the way, I highly recommend this hose nozzle even if for some reason, you decide not to cloth diaper. It is a superb, durable, and eco-friendly nozzle.
  • Some parents might think that going on cloth diapers is uncomfortable – Imagine having a plastic bag attached to your behind for hours on end. Imagine having to poop there. Imagine hearing the noise of that plastic-like contraption every time someone picks you up, you move or you walk? While disposable diapers seem to have come a long way in terms of comfort, the bottom line is: would you prefer to be wearing something stiff and plasticky or soft, pliable and breathable? What do you think your baby would pick if he/she could talk or choose. If you’re still unsure, think about what you would prefer to use to clean your behind after going to the bathroom, with a diaper, or with a cloth? Focus on the comfort. Realize too, that your baby deserves that comfort.
  • It’s more convenient to use disposables. -Really? For whom exactly? You most likely will say for you. But what about everybody else? Is it nice to smell a trash can full of diapers? Is it healthy for the environment to fill landfills with disposable diapers that take about 500 YEARS each to decompose all because you couldn’t toss a load of diapers in the washer or you couldn’t plop or rinse the soil off a diaper? And don’t use the baby as the excuse. Yes, in the event that the water runs out, that you’re out camping or that a major natural disaster strikes, maybe regular diapers can save the day…. but normally, you’ll find that having clean diapers, just like you have clean clothes to wear each day, is doable.
  • Your house will be smelly with dirty diapers– Luckily in an era of DiaperGenies, you don’t have to worry too much about dirty disposable diapers. However, if you had no such nose-savers… I guarantee, that you will be more motivated to wash the dirty cloth diapers much more often than you take out the garbage truck picks up your trash. In other words, your home will have less dirty diapers if you cloth diaper and are good about washing the  diapers. An added perk? You will never have a dog, cat, or any other wild animal make you pick up a dirty diaper that was plastered on your driveway or sidewalk.
  • Cloth Diapers give baby Rashes– Very much on the contrary, my friend. More babies get rashes from regular cloth diapers due to the 50+ chemicals that you can find on there. With cloth diapers, the biggest concern, which is very easy to take care of, is using the adequate soaps that preserve the absorbency of the cloth diapers, and which luckily for your baby and for the planet, are the most natural detergents are the market. Thus, the likelihood of your baby getting a rash from a natural detergent is very slim. You can’t use diaper cream on babies, without protecting the cloth diaper with a cloth diaper liner, but it is very unlikely that your baby will need diaper cream.
  • Cost of natural detergent is more expensive- Cloth diapers do require a tad of extra care in that the soap that you use does have to be less in quantity and more natural than what you use for regular loads. However, using fabric softeners are not recommended (you’re saving money there). You can find the cloth diapering soap either at the supermarket or on the Internet. Detergents like Green Rocks or Fuzzibunz Detergent work well. You can also buy Tide Free and Gentle (with store-bought brands, it’s best to use about 1/4 of the normal detergent amount). There are companies who test out various soaps to inform you of which soaps work best. Even though you have to use these natural detergents, you can still wash your own laundry and/ or your baby’s laundry with this soap and your clothing will still come out clean. 

Additional Benefits for Cloth Diapering

Let’s talk about the many benefits of cloth diapers.

  • Absorbency– Cloth diapers are so absorbent that there are people who don’t need to change their baby at night, and if they do, it’s not as frequently. This is helpful to know because you can be more at ease knowing that the baby will not be prone to diaper rashes. Furthermore, regardless of whether the climate is warm or not, the baby will not be either excessively warm or excessively cold at any point while wearing the cloth diaper as he/she would if he/she were wearing a regular diaper.
  • Cuteness– Cloth diapers are cute. Let’s admit it, babies and cuteness go hand in hand. So much so, that some parents like for their babies to be in diapers, instead of covering the diaper with additional clothing. If your worried about knee carpet burn once your baby starts crawling there are leg warmers for boys and girls that you can use to protect your babys legs. Using leg warmers can make diaper changes a breeze since you would just need to undo the cloth diaper snaps. If would prefer to allow your baby to be in his diaper all day, you can use the leg warmers to keep the baby warm and look as though if he/she were wearing pants.
  • Guarantee– Fuzzibunz are of such high quality, that you will not have to worry if a snap breaks since this brand has a lifetime snap guarantee. If the snaps pop off, you can have your diaper replaced. Furthermore there are other protections that your warrantee provides. To find out more, you can click on this link. If you need to replace the elastic you can contact Fuzzibunz and they’ll send you an elastic for free. In order to receive these benefits, make sure that you register your cloth diapers.  They offer some of the best customer service I’ve come across. And I’m very picky about customer service.
  • Innovation– Fuzzibunz is a company that is always trying to improve itself. In less than 9 months time, it replaced it’s older, less than perfect, but still useable for small babies One Size diapers to the new and improved version of the One Size diapers that are larger and more comfortable on the baby and allow you to place and remove the inserts (which all diapers come with two, by the way) with greater ease. Fuzzibunz diapers, in the time I’ve known them, truly do keep getting better and better.
  • One Size Diapers fit all babies and for a long time- I’m not telling you anything new when I say that babies grow up fast. Imagine this diaper! It’s one that can be used from the time your baby is born, to the time that your “not so baby anymore” is potty trained (the one size diapers have 30 possible adjustments that you can use to establish the perfect fit for your baby). How many of the cute clothing items that you received or bought for your baby will be as useable as these diapers for such a prolonged period of time? Not much! What does this translate into? More peace of mind since you have one less thing to worry about. And it translates into more cha-ching since diapers will be one less thing that you have to buy. My only warning is that you’ll find Fuzzibunz so valuable that you’ll always justify adding more to your collection.
  • Fuzzibunz was on TV– And nope, not in an informercial. The thing is. Fuzzibunz was on ABC’s Shark Tank. Even though it didn’t get funding from any of the shark investors, in my opinion, it was because it didn’t need to. That is, Fuzzibunz can stand in it’s own. Any time I can, I recommend Fuzzibunz to mothers. They have been a god-sent product for me.

Try Fuzzibunz. You will not regret experimenting with how wonderful they are. I won’t say they’re perfect. Nothing really is, but boy, they sure have many more positives than negatives! Literally, Fuzzibunz has your baby’s behind and your pocketbook’s.

Now It’s Your Turn To Share The Things You Treasure

What is your reason for cloth diapering? Do you have a favorite brand that you’d like to share? Please share in the comments below. If you know of a soon-to-be mommy, please share this advice with them. Cloth diapering is a win-win-win for the people and causes that really matter.

What I Want For Christmas From the World and For the World This Year

What I Want For Christmas From the World and For the World This Year

Christmas, regardless of the religious or areligious meaning that you give it, is a holiday that many people anticipate. Depending on which corner of the boxing ring you stand on, you can either dread the preparations that Christmas entails OR you can’t wait for Christmas to arrive.

How much you enjoy Christmas Day or Christmas Eve is up to you, but I only have one favor to ask you and as a matter of fact, this is what I want for Christmas this year: Don’t contaminate the excitement and good cheer of people who do like Christmas with your bad spirits,  in other words, your bad mood.

For many people, the day after Thanksgiving Day is more than Black Friday. It is a day when they can start decking their homes, and one would expect that it’s done with lots of “jolly.”
But, it sometimes isn’t. Why? Because there are family members that don’t like setting up the tree, for example. Yet unfortunately, they are usually the tallest people who can reach the tree’s higher altitudes. And what happens when this Scrooge gets in a bad mood? He/she ruins the first encounter with the Christmas spirit, of course. That ONE chance to have a good impression about the holiday season for that year is ruined. One year of someone in your family having this type of negative attitude can seem a coincidence and almost insignificant and even acceptable, but having the same person throw the same tantrum every year!? Really?! It gets super old! You know what the saddest thing is? That these Scrooges that dampen the joy of Christmas are not Scrooges for most of the year but they certainly wear their Scrooge costume super well on “Christmas tree setup day.” So, every year, your’e not expecting this Scrooge to appear out of nowhere with his/her bad mood, so it catches you by surprise when this “character” appears and the disillusion is even greater.

And just like in the tree-setup tradition mentioned above, I’m sure you can think of a Christmas tradition or two in which one of your family member rains on your parade when it comes to a perfectly healthy and acceptable holiday tradition. I feel sorry for you and most importantly, empathy for you because I know what it feels like.

To me, setting up the Christmas tree represents something special. Growing up, it was the only Holiday tradition where everybody in my family was civil, collaborative and happy about the Christmas season approaching. I miss that.

What if You Don’t Like Setting Up a Christmas Tree?

So, because life is not all peachy, and because for some reason, some people think that the beauty and wonder of a Christmas tree is insignificant, I implore you to avoid being a party pooper this holiday season. Yep, I get it, party-pooping can happen. So here are my tips:

If you don’t like setting up the Christmas tree, suck it up. If it’s really not possible for you to pretend you like setting up a Christmas tree, forgo accepting gifts from anyone for a year or two and allow people to instead use that money to buy your family a Christmas tree with lights pre-installed. Preferably, that Christmas tree should have wheels and be a breeze to set up with just a simple flip so that people can decorate it without your grumpy help.

There is a long list of recommendations that I can give so that you don’t mess up Christmas for the people who treasure it. I’ll save you the time of hearing me out. All I will say is that if you can’t avoid being needed for the Christmas preparations, put your best smiley face on in order to preserve the dwindling magic of the holiday season that many of us like to feel. If you can’t be grown-up about that, after a satisfying solution is provided that doesn’t affect the majority of the family, lock yourself up in your little room, scream into a pillow and let the rest of us enjoy the “Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches.” This advice might seem harsh, but literally, I want to wish you and your family a very merry Christmas and holiday season. Literally, and for the love of God, don’t get in the way of their healthy enjoyment. If nothing else, before ruining someone’s cherished holiday tradition stop to think about how you would feel when someone messes up your favorite once-a-year tradition. It puts thing into perspective, doesn’t it?

What is the Purpose Behind this Christmas Tree Blog Post?

This might seem like a petty complaint blog but really, it’s not as selfish as it seems. It’s really about more than just a Christmas tree. As a matter of fact, it’s about you, me and the rest of the world. For example, have you ever wondered why a lot of the focus of Christmas has become materialistic? Maybe it’s because the material things that we receive may not be our favorite things, or even the best parts about Christmas, but at least brand-new material things don’t discourage you the way that someone not caring about or respecting what you treasure does.

It all comes down to this:

When you don’t hold whatever someone else deems sacred, sacred, you are violating the right of someone’s happiness.”

So while you don’t have to loooovvvvee anyone’s Christmas traditions or beliefs just because they love it, you should love them enough to know how to respect what they consider sacred so that you don’t mess it up for them. This especially applies if you throw a tantrum every year when someone you supposedly love is abouttttt to engage in their favorite holiday tradition. If you really love someone, the least that you can do, is allow them the opportunity and the environment to enjoy the non-harmful activity that they enjoy, especially if it only comes around once a year and is linked to one of the most beloved holidays worldwide. Giving this type of love is the greatest gift I could receive this Christmas and the one I wish for you. Love is much more than what you receive, it’s the freedom of being who you are. And who are we? Ironically enough, in many ways, we are our traditions. And our traditions, are the legacy that our children will be left with. Do you really want your children to remember participating in a tradition that seemed special, but was forever tainted with someone’s lack of consideration for the family, those people who supposedly make every holiday worth it and meaningful?

It’s Time for Some Tough Love

  • Do you have a tendency to squash the joy out of a holiday tradition?
  • Who’s joy do you sabotage? Why?
  • What can you do about it?

Be the bigger person who recognizes his/her transgressions and share as much as or as little as you can with us. After all, we all learn from each others’ mistakes and are inspired by each others’ aha moments.

In the meantime may you AND your FAMILY have a very MERRY, jolly Christmas celebrated around a beautiful Christmas tree that reflects through its twinkling lights and shining ornaments, the love all around it. Remember, the tree provides the magic, you provide the love.

What “Choices and Illusions” Influence Your Life and Your Happiness?

What “Choices and Illusions” Influence Your Life and Your Happiness?

Have you ever been in a situation where you know something is good for you, but still you hesitate to participate in it? Eldon Taylor’s book Choices and Illusions: How Did I Get Where I am, and How Do I Get Where I want to Be? may evoke feelings of you wanting to abandon ship, not because it’s not a great book, because it is, but because either the amount of truths are way too deep or because you can’t get the truths fast enough (due to the lengthy background information for some of the studies). But as with all things in life, you need to be patient enough to allow for the good things in life to emerge. And let me tell you, that while on the surface this book might seem like a very light read (due to the cover and the title which don’t really reveal how mentally substantial this book is), this book is actually quite scientific… but amazingly, in a very refreshing and encouraging way. For once, you’ll be able to see how science and spirituality merge in a peaceful and an inspirational way that leave you with a sense of having learned something, instead of leaving you feeling more confused than when you started.

The Conflict of Our Four Selves

Most of our conflicts, if not all of them, have to do with the fact that as Yale professor Jerome L. Singer conveyed, there are four facets to our self, which Eldon Taylor describes in the following manner:

  • Actual Self: the private and ambitious self who has failed us and who we try to change
  • Ideal Self: it would be our “perfect” self according to our own judgment and that of our culture, but due to its “perfection,” it wouldn’t have room to grow
  • Ought to be Self: it is the self full of “shoulds” and “oughts” of our culture, our society and the codependency in our families which really don’t belong to us, but which we are subjected to, nevertheless
  • Desired Self: the self we think deep down that we can be, and mostly long for in our youth. This is the self which brings about much regret in people who have unfulfilled dreams in their later years.

These “selves,” that we all possess, (or should I say, that possess us 😉 ), are often in competition with one another and therefore, create turmoil in us. Yet, regardless of how we struggle to morph into who we think we need to be at any given moment, we all have unlimited possibility far beyond these four selves and far beyond what we think is attainable for us. Everything that we have experienced, that is, the sum of the positive and negative things we have encountered in our life, the need to be accepted and our fear of loss  makes us who we are. Despite the seeming limitations that we may have collected over the span of our life, we all have the need to soar and yet, we all have a fear of not being in our comfort zone. This presents a dichotomy because sometimes, we let our secret failures, our low desires, and our deeds paralyze us. And whether we admit to this at first glance or not, what we most desire is change. You might be thinking, “Really??!! CHANGE?!” If you’re anything like me, I thought most of us were actually afraid of change… but Taylor presents a very convincing point. He believes that we would all succeed and be heroes if we deeply and without a speck of a doubt thought that we could succeed, if we really believed we could attain the impossible and that we had power and conviction to move forth.  However, in order for us to be super comfortable with change, we would have to have a crystal clear and impeccable guarantee that we could succeed. Obviously, having that kind of guarantee is as difficult to obtain as it is trying to hold pouring liquid in your hands.

What Shapes Our Life?

Just like when comparing diamonds, the value that we can each expect to obtain from life has to do with three C’s that are not cut, color and clarity, but rather they are:

  • Choice
  • Chance and
  • Change

Knowing that these 3 C’s can literally make or break our life is a helpful reminder, or nudge, that we should really explore what our choices are, how we can be in better control of them, what it’s worth to take a chance on, and what in our life needs to change. For some of us, these 3 words are subconsciously, our 3 little “M’s,” meaning our 3 little monsters that we often invade with every possible shield and elusive excuse we can fathom. However, seeing the bright side of these three words, can literally be life-changing. It’s really up to us to embrace the responsibility that this conscientious living requires, and more importantly, it’s important to rejoice for the blessings that living in such a way can bring.

 The only way to discover the limits of  the possible is to go beyond them to the impossible.’

                       – Arthur C. Clarke

Why Is Life So Complex?

Just when we can think that we’re on the yellow-brick road to perfection, we are faced with idiosyncrasies of our human nature and of the world. Choices can be illusions. Illusions are caused by language. “Words do more damage to most people in our culture than things do. It’s not the words themselves or even Webster’s definitions that are damaging or fearsome; rather, the damage is inflicted by the emotive value attached to the words.” We can be fooled by logic, “words traps and their confusions have led to many atrocities.” We ourselves trip over our words and have made others fall because of them. We get so wrapped up in what our version of reality is, that sometimes, that the only thing that we see- our reality. “It is easy to forget the nature of a personal truth when it masquerades in an argument of reason.”

“Additionally, it is not possible to know the so called total of anything. Words are not the things they represent, and what they are supposed to represent is much more and much less than could ever be written.”

Our inner conversations, self-talk and stream of consciousness trick us because they are composed of words. “When in doubt, most people will trust their own judgement and senses- in fact, it is very hard not to trust our own experiences.” Yet our biology and psychology functions in such a way that we have to question even our own experience and feelings if we are to ever have any chance of discovering “the truth.” When we are open to acknowledging that what we think is true is really not true, then we are open to finding ourselves. As William James once said, “A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” So, obviously, we have to do much more than just rearrange our prejudices, we have to rid ourselves of our own prejudices, that affect us more than they affect anybody else.

To prove an important point, Eldon Taylor shows various pictures and optical illusions that show that what we see at first isn’t necessarily what is really there and proves that sometimes things can be seen in more than one way and that what we could bet our money on that we’re seeing, is simply our mirage for wanting to be right, plainly put, it’s an illusion. Taking this teaching a step further, not only is what we think we see an illusion sometimes, but so is what we say and fight so hard with others to defend. What is the root of all this messed up way of thinking? That which we have allowed to shape our mind.

What is Reality, in Reality?

One of the great resources that this book has, is a flow chart by William Guillory. This flow chart states that, “reality is what we believe to be true —> what we believe to be true is what we perceive —> what we perceive is what we look for —> what we look for is what we know —> what we know is what we believe to be true —> what we believe to be trues is reality —> reality is what we believe to be true,” and so the cycle continues.  Even when we know that this flow chart applies to us, and that everything that we see, perceive, expect and trust, isn’t necessarily true, we establish psychological defense mechanisms to convince ourselves that they are true. Easily accepting that everything is false is like willingly choosing to walk the rest of your life in quicksand. Some people can handle this type of uncertainty most of the time. For others, this truth that what we observe is not necessarily what we get, is too much to handle. These defense mechanisms, that many of us will find super familiar, are as follows:

  • denial
  • fantasy formation
  • introjection
  • isolation
  • projection
  • regression
  • repression
  • sublimination

These mechanisms overlap making it difficult for us to discern them and sometimes even to accept them. In other words, we see only what we want to see about ourselves and the world.

What Role Does the Subconscious Play in Our Life?

A stepping stone that we can stand on to take a breath, and have a solid truth, that makes sense is that many times the subconscious acts without the conscious. As a matter of fact, our unconscious mind makes most of our decisions. In other words, all that has happened in our life, plus the desire to be accepted and obtain pleasure over pain is what has shaped each and every one of us. Nowadays, most of us are a product of “nurture” instead of a product of nature. We are heavily and increasingly influenced by our environment. This simple fact, that society is in essence hijacking much of who we are explains, in large part, why much of our thinking, much of our conformity, and our apathy prevail in our individual and collective consciousness. For many, the amount of pressure is so great, that it further compounds the already mysterious mind. Taylor contends that stress, distress and trauma can virtually hide experience from the conscious mind. Despite what a person says, even when a person is under the influence, the subconscious remembers. In order to prove it, there are mechanisms that can be used that would allow for even someone who claims they remember nothing about what they did while being under the influence, to retrieve very specific details that they claimed they couldn’t with normal consciousness. In other words, with subliminal work, the treasures and the traumas of the mind can be retrieved to be cherished or corrected.

How Does the World Affect Our Choices?

Our thinking and our choices are predisposed to the world around us. Billions of dollars have been spent by government and marketing researchers to see how our minds work. It’s alarming to know, that “To this day, no legislation protects the consumer from subliminal manipulation.” Ads sometimes hide taboo or negative information that the conscious is not able to detect, but that the conscious can and is deeply influenced by. Thankfully, you have a choice to create your own thoughts and to question ads and media sound bites (what you see and hear in the media) and question that information. You REALLY do have that power. You don’t have to accept anything that you think you’re experiencing at face value because there is a slight but very potent  possibility that what you’re experiencing is different than what it appears to be. “Most of the information you have processed in your lifetime has been information that has passed beneath your conscious sentry or recognition. ” Having this knowledge is useful for making positive strides and changes in your life. As such, once you have a good grasp on this subject, you will discover how you can turn the tables on the mind manipulation going in on both inside and outside of you and actually take back the control of your own thoughts.

What Holds Many of Us Back from Taking Control of Our Thoughts?

In order to start seeing how powerful you can really be, it’s important to note that there are two things in life that can bind you:

  • somebody binding you physically or
  • or being bound by something physical.

You, your beliefs, your blame, thinking that you are only one person and that there is nothing you can do to evoke positive change limits you from being able to move forward. Thinking that you are bound like that, through the limitations of your mind, is thankfully an illusion. You REALLY, you have a choice. You have to truly believe it and act as if you believe it.

And in order to believe it, you have to go to the source of it all, the mind. You may have heard that we use 10% or less of our brain/mind. Specifically,

  • 3% of the mind = conscious mind
  • 7 % of the mind = the preconscious mind (the part of the mind that helps you recall song lyrics at the mention of the beginning of the song or the song’s melody)
  • 90% of the mind= the subconscious

How Do Stress, Fear and Anger Affect Us?

Something very interesting that the author Eldon Taylor mentions, is that in our modern world, the fight/flight response has been replaced with anxiety and depression respectively. Even though the type of life-threatening dangers that most people nowadays face is minimal, many people live under an inordinate deal of stress. This is because the small stuff that we sweat is linked in some way to our deep-rooted and highly important need to be and feel loved and accepted. This phenomenon of feeling that our emotional well-being is dependent on the approval of others is directly proportional to how much power someone supposedly has over us. Exactly how much power they have is based not on how much power they supposedly should have (e.g. boss), but rather on how much power we consciously or subconsciously give them.  The threshold for how affected we are (e.g. stressed) and by what triggers we obtain that stress, varies from person to person, of course.

As many of us can immediately agree to, when our beliefs are threatened, we develop anger and fear. Every time we’ve been told that we can’t do ____ because we aren’t ____ enough, the information and feelings that go along with that, have been stored in our subconscious. It is is no wonder then, that we often feel as limited and worthless as we do. Furthermore, the “shoulds” and “oughts” that we are highly encouraged to have, also “form the mold for our beliefs.” If you add that to the lessons we acquire from our entertainment, the end result forms what we believe about the world, about us, and what we feel is worth defending. Strangely enough, “our language, experience and feedback have been programmed without our conscious awareness or agreement.” That is, our REAL, awareness and our REAL agreement. In sum, many of our less than desirable reactions have to do with our fear of not being loved, accepted or respected. Taylor states that anger is an acronym that stands for A Nasty Getting Even Response. He says that fear represents For Every Anger Response. What this results in then is that for every fear/ “for every anger response” there is anger/ “a nasty getting even response.” So when we feel that our most basic heart/ soul-centered needs are violated, many of us respond with anger due to the fear that we feel. And when we are asked why they acted out of anger, “blame” is often mentioned or alluded to, instead of the fear that caused it all. However, instead of feeling hopeless when we fall into this game/trap, we should realize that no matter how grim the circumstances in our life look or feel, something “good” always comes out of the so-called “bad.” When we opt to think this way, we reduce the probability of having high cortisol levels  (the stress hormone). By choosing to react calm, instead of stressed, we are literally slowing down our aging process, our brain degeneration and amazingly, our death, which high cortisol levels promote. These are all good reasons to slow down, but next time you’re about to “pop,” based on your values, think about which of these three things you want to preserve: your youth, your wit or your life? 😉 As long as you can reduce your high cortisol, for whatever reason you value most, you’ll be ahead of the game.

Why Do We Blame Others for Our Problems and at the Same Time Are Proud To Share Our Problems?

Eldon Taylor reminds us of a truth that we all know deep down but often refuse to adopt and that is that holding on to the need/desire to blame others is equal to being tied down by a string that really shouldn’t be stronger than we are. Yet in this world, we are almost constantly seduced by the idea of placing blame on someone or something else constantly. And to make matters worse, we take it even a step further. For example, when we talk to anyone about our trials and tribulations or about the problems we have, we don’t have to wait too long before the person who is supposed to be listening to us to express or “one-up” our bad situation with their bad situation. Without realizing it, people start to play what Taylor calls the “bad-luck fortune” game. In other words, many of us go through our day seeing how many bad-luck cookies we can get. Something bad happens to us and immediately we think, ‘I can’t wait to share this disgrace with so-and-so.” Why? Simply to play this game and to have plenty of evidence for others to feel bad for us and pity us. Subconsciously, we play this game because we aren’t 100% comfortable with happiness, ease and peace. Knowing that, it’s up to you to decide if you want to go through life chasing after these bad-luck, oh-poor-me cookies OR if you want to have the courage necessary to nix the desire to chase these cookies. “You see, when you stop saving your [bad-luck] cookies and get on with the responsibility for everything in your life, your life improves. When this happens, you lose any and all desire to be a cookie keeper.” Apparently it all comes down to what we prefer having: responsibility over our actions or pity for our lack of responsibility. We choose.

Once we go through life having the long pity-party that we need to finally feel empowered, one important premise that we should be aware of, is that good and bad luck is relative. What we consider a disgrace, in the most bizarre of ways, can actually be the best blessing ever! So regardless of what we think is in front of us, we have to focus on what we have and see it with gratitude. Choosing to worry about our so-called bad luck not only can poison our physical bodies, but it can also poison our future environments by helping us actually attract and manifest into our lives that which we would like to avoid. That’s not a good thing! And yet, many of us fall into this trap again and again and again.

How Can We Start to Take True Control of Our Life and of Our Mind?

It is by focusing on the present moment that we can really tap into the gift of the present. This focus on the here and now can yield even greater gifts if we are thankful for what we have and are consequently driven to share the goodness, kindness, light and blessings that we have with others through good deeds. By focusing on service, we can rid ourselves of our shallow, self-centered living habits and of depression. Furthermore, we do much more good in sending positivity to others than it is if we spread judgement. As cliche as it may seem, the fastest way of getting to this state of open-heart living is by having the determination to forgive. It is through forgiveness and providing ourselves with love that we can truly be free. Taylor believes so much in this, that he has a free gift for you to get started on this path!!! =)  (Psttt… you can find out how to get this gift mid-way through the book… and by the way, it’s something other than the free CD that comes with the book, which is called Unlimited Personal Power, and which is great!). By working on ourselves, we are one step closer to creating the positive changes that we want to see in the world.

Much of the author’s work revolves around subliminal positive programing, which is what makes the CD included with the book so special. Many people are worried about the controversy of subliminal messages because they have been used for less than stellar and beneficial ways by some people in our society. However, Taylor has been a forsenic hypnosis investigator, and he is aware of the importance and of the immense benefits of using this technology for good. He says, “today the science of subliminals is still poorly understood by many but it is a true science with valid merits. It truly can assist enabling individuals to overcome their doubts and fears and negative input that all too often create self-imposed limitations.” He truly believes in the power of self-hypnosis and of subliminal technology to be the greatest agents of change. Interestingly, daydreaming, meditating and quieting the mind, are all forms of self-hypnosis. Practicing self-hypnosis, when one quiets the mind, can allow for great things can happen. For example, one can rewrite deep memories and accurate personal scripts that sometimes are at the root of self-sabotaging behaviors, and one can access one’s higher self that holds the answers to the questions that we seek deep within us, but sometimes cannot access via any other means. “Your mind dictates your life, at least from the perspective of your choices when dealing with all that life brings you. Your thoughts may actually belong to someone other than you. Perhaps you are only storing them so as to act on them, and buy, vote, feel or emote on  cue.” “Hypnosis can be a powerful tool for uncovering all of the information stored in your mind, selectively choosing that which you no longer wish to store, and assisting in discarding it.” Stated this way, many of us could agree that we need a mental cleanse.

Why Is it Important to Be Conscious of Our Consciousness?

For many years, the study of consciousness was a taboo… now, it is being studied more. Eldon Taylor believes that:

“Defining consciousness turns out to be a process somewhat akin to searching for the core of an onion. Revisiting consciousness is more than a philosophical exercise or a scientific inquiry. It is a duty, even a moral imperative to reevaluate the nature of consciousness, for this inherently devises the strategy by which humankind treats itself and all life.”

We are without a doubt, interconnected. “Perhaps it is the interrelated nature of all life, consciousness itself, upon which we are interdependent. Perhaps, just perhaps, humankind will only know its highest, most noble self when it offers the deepest respect for all life.” “[P]art of making your choice about whatever life you wish to have is influenced by your views of this world and any potential afterlife.”

Taylor notes that many of us push the small and large miracles to the corners of our life… which isn’t advisable because even though we can’t explain these events, “they can hold important clues for us with regards to the purpose of our lives.” Taylor’s book  What Does it Mean? can provide a blueprint for people seeking the answers to questions pertaining to what our life events mean. Yet miracles abound incessantly. “Perhaps when we begin to think that we are not worthy, some unexplained intervention in our life occurs. What does that suggest to us? Perhaps when we give up faith, something takes place to rekindle our belief. Why these things happen is relative and relevant to the person they happen to. It’s part of a larger narrative.” “When we ignore or dismiss the unexplained in our lives, we close the book on our story.” In order to not minimize the grandiosity of living, Taylor encourages us to “live into yourself” as in the saying “lean into/in” to yourself so that you can discover what you are here for and what your calling is because it is the miracles of the so-called unexplainable events that are full of meaning. “When you are in the flow, you live with a sense of satisfaction. Even when things are hard, you rest well, knowing that you are being true to yourself and doing what is right for you.”

What Do Human Beings Want After All?

 

Human beings desire quality of life which is defined by:

1) absence of fear

2) loving relationships

3) fulfillment of necessities (food, water, shelter, health care).

Ironically, while many of us have fears, we often don’t realize that we impact the fear-based events that happen to us. Paradoxically, we often think that by diminishing the worth of others, that our worth increases. The truth is, “whenever we degenerate another, we subtract from ourselves. To the precise degree that we make less of another, we make less of ourselves.” “Thinking out of the box, so to speak, is the kind of thinking all of us must do if we are to get out of the box. The box many people find themselves in is self-defining and confining. The walls of the box are fear, anger, lack and the like.”

How Can We Make Sure that We Aren’t Held Back?

We can easily climb over these walls of our shadow beliefs if we become aware and are willing. “Deciding to step out of the confines of “the same old, same old” is the next step. It is a new genuine choice. It is a change in beliefs.” “Changing our beliefs [which we have been handed down from generation to generation as mental viruses called memes and most likely don’t serve us] may be the most difficult aspect of personal growth.” Yet it’s so worth it, and so vital to the survival of our real essence.

How Does Language Affect the Quality of Our Life?

When we think about our beliefs, it is important to analyze the language/sayings that we use so that we can truly analyze whether these sayings keep us confined in the box of the reality that we despise OR allow us to be free to go after our real desires and take the good and honorable actions we need to make our desires our reality. It is critical that we scrutinize our own beliefs, that often are a direct reflection of our language, to see if there is anything that we believe that is attached to fear because in a tug-a-war of the positive circumstances we desire and those that evoke fear in us, the fear-based belief will be the stronger belief and will therefore most likely win… not because we want it to win, but because this belief will most likely be ingrained in our unconscious. Thankfully, love is stronger than fear. This examination of beliefs and fears will yield greater self-worth if you let it. And love is your ally. Love, as in a helping hand, a kind word, and kindness is powerful beyond measure.

 “The word love may be out of vogue for those who need to prove something, but it never is for those who know who they are.”

What is Love and Why Love Matters?

Before attempting to know what love is, it’s important to know what makes it great. Awe, like the kind children often experience, “is the wonderment that empowers and ennobles the human spirit. Awe recognizes the miracle behind every breath we take. Awe sees the glory of creation, for what is is, an unexplained event of monumental even ineffable, stature.”

Taylor observes that unfortunately, many miracle naysayers teach concepts such as the Big Bang theory, yet “we are not told that only DNA can create DNA and that according to some, the original elements necessary to create DNA did not exist in the soup that was present on earth when life supposedly just appeared from nothing.”

This results, in humanity diminishing the beauty or awe of those things that truly are beautiful beyond measure and awesome. “We turn our lights on and enjoy the electric service, knowing where electricity comes from, but failing to recognize that even science has never explained where electricity truly comes from… If we don’t understand it, the rule is to ignore it.”

“Awe is everywhere if we stop to sense the world around us. Love begins with a capacity for awe.”

Taylor states that there are 3 forms of nonromantic unconditional love. Love is:

  1. Humble and it ennobles us
  2. Empathic and is experienced when we imagine what it’s like to walk in another’s shoes
  3. Unconditional – it “is not attached to an outcome.”

In reading what love is, hopefully you experienced that you have been and are truly capable of giving this type of sublime love. And one of the most important people you could give love to, is you. “True self-esteem comes from what we give, not from what we take. It comes from the walk we walk, not from the things we say. True self-esteem builds character, not ego. It is, after all, the act of being who we really have been created to be.” And isn’t this what we all want? To be who we really were CREATED to be in all the inexplicable glory that that represents?

The World as We Know it Is Not Really As We Know it

“Today, we know that personality can change, it is not fixed and the mind can influence the DNA molecule.” Imagine what other neat surprises life has for us!

Taylor explains that just like in the movie The Matrixthere are trancelike conditions that we are living under. Whenever we are more focused on our thoughts to the point that we aren’t aware of our surroundings, we are in that trance. Even our sleep enables us to go in and out of trancelike states. And everybody seems to want a piece of the trance-pie. “The media has such control over us, that we tend to live under the power of a “media-ocracy.” However, after reading books like this, we can rest assured, that all hope is not lost.

“Only in our honest authentic self can we escape the trance.”

The opposite of being our honest and authentic selves is when we try to be “versions” of ourselves, depending on where we are, who we are with and what we are wearing to camouflage and try to fit in. Now that you’ve read all of this review and hopefully the book, isn’t it an interesting question to pose right about now: “What are we trying to fit into?” A trance?! Not just any trance, but someone else’s trance. Well that’s ‘smart.’ 😉 “Consistency in our beliefs is critical because there is no such thing as a belief that is not connected in some way to the vast web that is all of our beliefs.” So if there is anything that should be more than crystal clear for us is that it’s important to practice metacognition (self-reflection on our thoughts) because “thought monitoring is essential if you’re ever going to truly understand yourself or become truly mindful.”

What is the Central Theme of Choices and Illusions?

Eldon Taylor’s book attempts to teach us that:

“Self-growth is only possible when you allow for the possibility that you might be wrong, when you learn to question yourself from every direction, when you stop accepting the limiting norms that society attempts to place on you- and instead, strive for the seemingly impossible.”

In order to do this, you must start the journey inward, and you’ll know you have arrived when you can love yourself so much, that you aren’t afraid to be you.

It is important to keep ourselves in motion because life is motion. On a physical level, “when we do leave this plane, the moment we die nothing happens but the breath… what stopped is breath [cells in our body continue their functions for a while longer].” In a way, this shows that we are much more than our body. We are our essence. And if life can continue with ability to breathe and even despite our ability to breathe, then what we do when we are alive and feel the most alive, can be very meaningful. For that, we must know what makes us feel alive.

In order to know the purpose of your life and the meaning of life in general, you must connect with Spirit, which is “giving, creative, kind, loving, beautiful, expanding, abundant and receptive.” Eldon Taylor, along with one of his admired authors, Dr. Wayne Dyer, invite us to recognize that each of us, is “God experience walking.” Saying that we’ve been successful in finding our life’s purpose simply because we found a job that we like, would be minimizing what the purpose in life is. What matters here is that we are fully, safely and often able to express who we are.

Is Choices and Illusions a Helpful Book?

Taylor wholeheartedly recommends the teachings in Choices and Illusions because he’s applied them and says that they’ve worked even for a person like him, who he confesses wasn’t always on the spiritual path. An important way to raise the potential in life is to eliminate fears. Taylor suggests that instead of focusing on the acronym of fear that he mentioned at the beginning of the book, which was, for every anger response,” that we see “fear” as an acronym that stands for forget everything and run.” We’re to run from our desire to get even and instead remember our holiness, our light and focus on being the best versions of ourselves that we can be.

Is it an easy task? Not really. According to Mel Gill, author of Uncommon Sense, there are 12 ways that we escape accountability. However, we must be accountable if we want our life to be different than the less than stellar life it has been thus far. “Within you is an absolutely awesome potential. You deserve, and you are worthy. Your life begins anew each moment. It is never too late, and it is always right to pursue your highest potential. It is all a matter of challenging some old views.” So we do have to put in the work and we do have to apply the principles, but the benefits we can reap can be life-altering.

Despite the little voice in your head that may be saying that this is all great, but that improving your life is maybe not for you. “There is nothing for you to feel shame over. Shame is a tool of guilt. It can be used to control you and force you to deny your higher self. What you’ve done in the past is a lesson, and when you understand that, accept and forgive yourself and all others, commit to your very best — all else is taken care of for you.” ALL is taken care of. Who doesn’t want that sense of peace that is more attainable than we think?

How Can I Change for the Better?

Eldon Taylor presents a unique and controversial argument for change. Believe it or not, change is a highly sought-out goal in life because we all want more ____, or less ____ in our lives, but in order to achieve this, we must let go of some pattern in us. Ironically, we can all win in this thing called change (or in anything else, for that matter) because “we only lose when we let ourselves down! We can only win, in the real sense of winning, when we do our very best,” and show great character. The author recommends that as a true boost for ourselves that we create a sign that we can see everyday that says, “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” Just saying that gives me chills. Try it!

Dr Christian Enesu, a New Jersey prominent neurologist gives his point of view on Eldon Taylor’s InnerTalk CDs. Enesu says, ” I truly believe that InnerTalk has the capability to change human civilization. It is so powerful and so needed that I think it should be in every hospital.” With subliminal reprogramming, with your choices, changes, and chances, and this book, you are highly likely to achieving the dreams you want to achieve.

Taylor states that it’s important to think and have the courage to act upon the answers you get when you ask the question, “What would I do if I knew I could not fail?” and know that “you will never achieve a goal if you cannot imagine it.” As the well-known Star Wars phrase goes, “May the force be with you.” more precisely, know and put to good use the fact that the Force IS with you. =)

As thorough of a book that Choices and Illusions is, even the author states that “The mind is an absolutely awesome power and we still don’t know its potential.” Taylor recommends that in order for you to foster the greatness that we know of so far, that you:

  1. “Continue in your progress to becoming all that you might be”
  2. Forgive and forget
  3. Reflect on and question “any and all thoughts that limit your potential good for self and society”
  4. Do good deeds, at least 1 daily and journal at night on how doing the good deed(s) made you feel
  5. Begin meditating (e.g. get quiet and listen to your inner voice that will help you get the answers and the direction in life that you need)
  6. “Seek the inner noetic (e.g. mental/intellectual) sense of your real being.”
  7. Apply what you learn (and I add, LEARN MORE)

If interested, you can buy the InnerTalk CDs, or better yet, enjoy the blessings and the teachings you already have in life and listen to the Unlimited Personal Power CD included for free with the hardback version of Choices and Illusions. According to Taylor, by listening to the CD one hour a day for 30 days, you can bank on seeing change. This works even when you watch TV or sleep. If you’d like to follow the phrases that Taylor uses in his CD our of curiosity, skepticism (and hopefully not fear), Appendix D is comprised of that CD’s affirmations. It’s important to note that in all of Taylor’s 400 InnerTalk titles (which are designed to meet everybody where they are and to help them overcome the many issues that abound humans), he incorporates important themes such as responsibility, forgiveness, appreciation and an awakening process.

No matter how difficult it may seem to live our life differently than you have, one important thing you can do is to take the first step and ‘fake it till you make it.’ Even if you don’t feel like smiling and being kind, with enough consistency, you will see how you will soon be the kind person you always wanted to be. Most importantly, you’ll be surprised by how your choice to change and your rejuvenated mind will help you soar above your wildest expectations and inspire others to do the same.

I was given this book by Hay House to review, but the opinions expressed here are my own. If you’re open to deep mind-digging and life introspection, I recommend this work.

Who or What are You Secretly Thankful for This Year?

Who or What are You Secretly Thankful For This Year?

There are times in life when we are blessed with circumstances that at first glance seem catastrophes, obstacles, disasters and major flops. We think that we’ve just been dealt the most sour hand, that we have just been confronted with the most disappointing betrayal and any sense of pride that we had up until that point has been shattered. And we’re right, in some way. Life as we know it, is forever changed. But just as we wipe away the tears that ironically usually last less than 30 seconds at a time regardless of the immense pain we may feel, our eyes inevitably open up to a whole new world. And THAT is a good thing! Unless of course you want to continue being stuck in circumstances that don’t truly support who you are, don’t honor your essence and that don’t have your best interest in mind for what could be a truly fantastic and purposeful life.

What Changes are Going On in Your World?

How do you prefer to feel heartache? Slowly or over time? For example, pretend that you have a wonderful and exquisite 16-piece china set that you totally love and treasure. Would you rather have 16 different kitchen accidents for 16 pieces to be destroyed in their own way and make you suffer a loss 16 times? Or would you rather just drop the entire darn set once, cry for 30 seconds and get over it? I would say that the majority of us would just prefer the set to be shattered once. However, when we face what to us may seem catastrophic losses, we chicken out. Sadly, some of you don’t realize that the earthquake, tornado, tsunami and hail that you experience simultaneously is something that even your MOST sabotaging thoughts and patterns couldn’t have created… and that you’ve been “spared” multiple prolonged painful experiences that drag over the span of several years and/or decades in order to just experience the china set shattering once, pick up the pieces once and then move on peacefully without breaking a single glass in yeeeears. We think that we can’t handle life’s letdowns. But you know what? You CAN. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.

So, regardless of whether you’ve experienced little losses lately or HUGE losses, little pains or HUGE pains, little disappointments or HUGE disappointments, isolated negativity or in one unified and glorious shebang, be thankful. Maybe you’re one of the “lucky” people that only get little negativity and have a generously glorious life. Or maybe you’re the type of person who can manifest the sympathy of a higher power to face one difficult, but single downpour of crap that forces you to soften the grip of what is negatively affecting you and you’re so foolishly holding on to and acts as a laxative that allows you to release all your crap and the pain, waiting, suffering, shame and guilt that goes along with it.

You must let the autumn leaves of your life fall as they need to in order for your life to showcase its magnificence and its beauty.

 

Regardless of which reality you’ve been a part of, KNOW that what you experienced was so that you can learn a lesson from this earth school that life represents. Some of you may resist the idea that life is in fact a school, but note that if you aren’t learning from the lessons that the Universe is HELPING you to notice, the lessons will keep on repeating themselves in different circumstances, until you learn the them. Instead of seeing this as unfair or tedious, focus your attention on trying to be an A+ student, and accept the Universe’s help in being one. And why not? Borrow its notes once in a while, you might find purposeful treasures that you hadn’t contemplated before, and wouldn’t discover otherwise.

Whether you believe anything that I’m saying or not is irrelevant. After all, you create your own reality. The important thing is that you’re here. Alive. Powerful. Standing. You may have a scar on your knee, but you have a smile on your face. And you know what? The saying that there is always light at the end of the tunnel is also true. Even the most prolonged crisis has an end. One day. For every one. Somehow. Hopefully the end is a happy one. And even when you think that there’s no way out, that nobody cares, that nobody knows, that other people have greater problems that deserve more attention, and you question why these types of things “always” happen to you,  you’re not alone. So smile, and feel my hug. Better yet, feel the hug of the Universe that is reassuring YOU that no matter what, if you listen to your intuition and try to seek the healthiest way out of the situation that you’re in, things will be alright. Really! Don’t take my word for it, though. Try it.

Blessings to be Thankful For This Thanksgiving

We can dwell on your issues, try to convince you about their potential blessings in disguise that they represent and even brainstorm solutions to your issues. However, if you want to see some things start to shift NOW for the better (in your mind and in what you attract into your life, mainly), start with giving thanks RIGHT NOW for what you have. Give thanks for the good things and give life for the challenges because the sooner you learn from the lessons that the challenges are trying to teach you, the sooner you can move on to a hopefully much easier and less painful lesson. Repeat this gratitude exercise daily or as often as you realistically can (I know, I know, life gets in the way). Let this become you’re catharsis, which the dictionary states is “the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from strong or repressed emotions.” By cleansing your mind of the negative, and projecting thanks towards that which is there to make you happy or make you stronger, you will obtain a greater sense of relief. It’s as though you and the Universe will help you chip away the excess marble… sometimes softly, sometimes not so softly, so that the end, both you and your life are as much of a masterpiece as they can be.

So think about it… what are you thankful for? If you’re drawing a blank, analyze if these examples below may be some things you’re thankful for. Then think of some of your own.

  • Your family, those people that you can REALLY call family, who may seem distant, but who are always there, a phone call, a text or a social media post away. The blessings of a family include the newest and youngest members of the family who make you forget about your woes, the most senior members of the family (whom, if they’re admirable people, have a lot of wisdom of the universe that you can learn from if you’d only stop to really listen to them) and everybody in-between
  • Your friends, those near and far, former and actual, who valued you or had the misfortune of failing to value you despite you knowing how special you are 😉 yet taught you, without knowing, who your friends truly are. Those ‘friends’ who are just a number on your social media profiles or those you really want to spend time with you face to face to share what they’re doing lately, their inspirations, their physical photos and their interests, and what’s going on in their circles
  • Your life and all the positivity it has given you– much more than you can even wrap your brain, heart and soul around
  • Your dreams, both accomplished and soon to be accomplished, if you trust and put the hustle and backbone in them and in you that’s needed
  • Your essence— for being you, period
  • Your possibilities and the expansiveness and elation that that realization evokes in your soul and imagination deep down
  • Your strides so far (they’ve been great by the way =) )… hopefully you’re still on the right track, and if you’ve gotten off course, get back on, PLEASE, for the love of whomever you most value and wish the world for
  • Your health that is unfailing and if it has failed it’s simply as a request for you to pay better attention to yourself so that you can have the perfect health you’re meant to have
  • Being able to enjoy your favorite meal this Thanksgiving or any day, for that matter
  • Having people who want you sitting with them at a Thanksgiving table
  • For all of the lessons that you’ve learned, the hard or the easy way
  • For being part of this human race, part of your “species family”, that is some inexplicable way is connected to you and you to it, if you simply stopped to notice and feel in your heart
  • For being able to be loved and for having the capacity to love
  • For seeing the wonder, growth and evolution of the people or pets you cherish the most.
  • For all the good causes in the world attempting to straighten this place up
  • For all the lifelines that God, the Universe or whomever you believe in gave you unconditionally. These lifelines have given you a greater sense of peace that allows you to be more present in your life today.

Now It’s Your Turn to Share What You’re Thankful For

There are many ways to ponder upon what you’re thankful for. Some of you may prefer to pray, others to meditate, others to do yoga or tai chi, or simply take a walk to think. Regardless of your preferred method, instead of just thinking about the things you’re grateful for, jot them down in your own physical journal/diary or in the storm-proof electronic Penzu Journals that you can get at 20% off and that you can keep under “lock and key” in an encrypted online environment and be able to access from anywhere using the internet or a web-enabled mobile device. The power of the written word is enormous. And, writing down the things that you’re grateful for will allow you to consolidate them as things that you’re truly thankful for and the Universe will reward you with even more things to write on your journal. Why? Because what we focus on, expands.

If you’re willing, share what you’re thankful for below. Can’t wait to read and be inspired by the many things that all of us are so blessed to have, that are right there in front of us, but that we so often fail to see! Happy Thanksgiving Day today and always!

Which Room in Your Home Deserves the Most Attention a Couple of Months Post-Partum?

Which Room in Your Home Deserves the Most Attention a Couple of Months Post-Partum?

There is one room in the home that gives away the fact that you’ve had a baby much more than the living/family room full of baby toys and baby items. The answer may surprise others but it certainly shouldn’t surprise you. You think you have the answer? It’s the kitchen! Why? Because is it just me or can you relate to any of the bullets below?

  • you feel as though your desire to cook went down
  • you don’t remember when the last time you cooked to impress was
  • you think that having the time, energy and above focus to cook, let alone bake, would be a total treat
  • your fridge doesn’t have many things that appetite desires because lately, you are not the one who does most of the grocery shopping, for a change
  • the kitchen staples that were your best buds and had your back when you wanted to cook something in a pinch or better yet, give that extra “something- something” to your elaborate meal are now hanging out in other people’s pantries where they feel appreciated instead of neglected
  • your years (hmm-hmm decades) of cooking and/or baking have gone to the dogs since you’ve made more mistakes in the kitchen (despite the little quality time you spend there) since your children were born

This last bullet was one of the two hardest realizations for me post-pregnancy. Truth be told, it has hurt my ego to forget to add baking powder to the pancakes I prepared… (cough)…. Twice. Where was my mind? Tending to my baby of course! And wanting to be superwoman…. everything to everyone (except to me and my needs) all the time. I really miss having that cathartic experiences in the kitchen, in which I had the luxury of being immersed into measuring everything precisely and leveling every single dry ingredient with the edge of a butter knife. Ahhh! Those were the days!

What’s the Use of Realizing that the Kitchen is Neglected?

While this seems like a huge complaint blog post, what I’m trying to accomplish is to vent… in your honor and despite my once-classified-a-chef honor. 😉 For people who say that parenting is not hard… I’d like to invite you over to a microwave dinner so that I can at least try to further explain how not being able to feed oneself appropriately and consistently gives any impression that parenting is easy. And that’s just the beginning of what we can’t do well even though we thought (and so did the world) that we were excellent multi-taskers before having kids.

What New Moms Crave For

There have been a couple of times that I’ve daydreamed about going alone to one of my two favorite restaurants to eat a meal that will be deliciously cooked and to spend some quality time with my friend, “delicious food.” But, no matter what the little mush I eat, (often cold, often frantically and most likely out of the container), being able to have a baby to tend to, to the point that my cookbooks are jealous, is a huge blessing that nourishes my soul and my being in the most special and unbelievably calorie-free way that anything ever has. As a matter of fact, despite the fact that I’m not there yet, I believe that my desire to feed my little one well and with a great deal of culinary gusto and flavor, my little one will in fact be my inspiration for getting back into the kitchen with a vengeance. As a matter of fact, I’ve been combing through some old recipes and eyeing some new recipes that I would like to try. There are just sooooo many recipes out there that I think it’s a total waste of our time on earth to not try some more. What gives me a little bit of peace is that Rachael Ray and her team apparently have seen how time-deprived we are, whether we have children or not, because she recently came out with a new book called Week in a Day, in which the premise is to devote an action-packed day to creating 5 dinners. It may seem like a chore (or an impossibility) to devote a full day to cooking, but, imagine how much smoother the rest of your week will feel if you in fact get your dinners done and over with? If you apply the same teaching to creating breakfasts and lunches, then you’ll really be on top of things. Not only will you save some time, but you’ll save some sanity and money given that less groceries will go to waste.

Time to Evaluate Yourself

So if you’re a parent, tell me, what is your relationship between you and the kitchen like these days, is it strained (no pun intended) or is it kosher? Please leave your comment below, and please, if you have any tips to how to balance the need to nourish your children and the need to nourish yourself (both literally and metaphorically), please let me know.

Hay House Book Nook: A Wonderful Gift from One of the Most Admirable Companies in the World

Hay House Book Nook: A Wonderful Gift from One of the Most Admirable Companies in the World

If there is one company in the world that provides a lot of love to the world and is a HUGE treasure to humankind, it is precisely, Hay House. While it started as a small company, it has grown to a huge international inspirational company that has set foot in foreign lands, but most importantly, in the hearts of many.

Today, I’m excited that I followed my guidance from this morning and joined www.hayhousebooknook.com.  I recently heard that this program existed. In a nutshell, if you love to read and have a blog, Hay House is willing to send you one of its free books in exchange for your posting your book review in several places. How neat is that? Especially if you’re one of those people who wants to share what you read with the world and crave that there are plenty of attentive ears to listen to the wonderful discoveries that you make in Hay House books and from Hay House authors.

Who Can Sign Up?

One of its missions is to align with bloggers who believe in the philosophy of healing ourselves and the planet. During the application process, Hay House will decide, after submitting your application or URL site in a business day or two whether or not your application has been accepted.

If you live in the U.S. and Canada, Hay House can send you a physical copy of the book. However, if you live outside of these two countries, don’t despair, apparently, Hay House is encouraging international bloggers to also sign up since it is planning on offering free ebook versions of their publications in the future. If you’re an international blogger and sign up, you will be notified by Hay House when these free ebook versions are available.

What’s the Hay House Book Nook Catch?

Knowing how generous Hay House is, it’s really not worth it to be skeptical of what the catch of this program might be, because non-surprisingly, there is none… except honesty/disclosure in your reviews. While there are terms and conditions that you must follow, and which you can read more on their official websited, the privilege of reading about and sharing concepts from Hay House books is well worth it.

How Does it Work?

If your account is approved, you will be allowed to obtain one of Hay House’s listed publications. Upon reading and writing the review, you need to post it on your site, a consumer site and share it with the www.hayhousebooknook.com site. Once that has been done, you can repeat the process as many times as you wish. On the registration page, you’ll see that there are people who have done this process about 50 times since they’ve posted 50 reviews. But ultimately, you’re in control to determine how many books you would like to post. Who knows, maybe you have it in you to be a Hay House Book Nook top blogger.

Now it’s Your Turn

If you’re a blogger who is enamored by the types of publications that Hay House offers, then head on over to www.hayhousebooknook.com and sign up! Then, come back and share your reviews on the Love and Treasure blog as well. We can always use a good book recommendation! 🙂