No matter how much we prepare for motherhood, there isn’t any book that prepares us for the nitty-gritty details that can surprise us in a good way or in a bad way when the baby arrives. We are told that parenthood will be the ride of our life, but we don’t know the exactly what the ups, downs, twists, turns, bumps, surprises, backups, or altitudes will be until we start the journey. We wonder, “Are we equipped with everything we’ll need or will we need to make stops along the way to ask for directions?” The great news is that the baby will be your life tour guide in more ways than one.
What Motherhood Taught Me Out in the Field
Motherhood taught me:
That I would get 1 or 2 hours per day of sleep for the first few of months.
That the other waking hours of my day during approximately the first year would primarily consist of breastfeeding.
That maternity leave would require more effort than a 40 hour work week vs. a 22-24 hour day (but that even then, motherhood would be much more gratifying).
That people would want to visit our family (or rather our baby) more than they had in their entire life.
That taking a shower would be a luxury.
That going to the bathroom would be a luxury which wouldn’t be as private as it used to be.
That eating a meal uninterrupted, would be an impossibility for years to come (unless you ate when the baby was asleep, yet even then the baby would most likely awake when you were about to take your first bite. (You know, that bite that traditionally, people seem to enjoy the most 😉 ).
That going to my favorite restaurant would become a rare occurrence.
That staying at home would be much easier than going out.
That it’s easier to carry your baby by wearing him or her, than by carrying the baby stroller all over the place.
That it would be months before I went out alone again. And that when I finally did, I would feel guilty about it.
That I would miss my son even those times that I should have been thankful to have to myself because he has already become such a huge part of me.
That it’s much more rewarding to be attached to your child than to look for a baby sitter.
That my tolerance for embarrassment would increase.
That I could and wanted to drink this much water.
That checking one thing off of my to do list a day, would be such a huge accomplishment.
That I would be so inspired and energized to accomplish many of the goals that I had put in the back burner, because if you can be a great mother, you can do anything.
That all your other accomplishments would become pale in comparison to being a mother.
That my baby’s smile would be the best smile I had ever seen.
That I would grow more patient that I already am.
That I could love this much.
That I would be so blessed by the baby showers I received during pregnancy.
That co-creating and nurturing a life would be so rewarding.
That I would be so blessed no matter what else was going on.
Even though nobody told me about these things, in retrospect, I see them as little and sometimes huge “aha moments” and daily surprises all rolled into one that I didn’t mind discovering on my own. After all, there’s no better job training for how to be a mother, than motherhood itself. And there’s also no other jobs which such satisfying perks. Motherhood may not be unicorns and rainbows, but unquestionably, motherhood is the closest thing to it and thr most beautiful.
Share Your Wisdom Treasures With Us
So it’s now your turn to share your unique and purposeful experience:
What have you learned about motherhood that nobody told you about?
Do you think it’s better to be fully informed about motherhood, or to have some surprises along the way.
If you’d like, you may want to share this email with expecting mothers. Or, we can prefer to let them enjoy the ride of motherhood in their own self-paced journey. After all, they will soon have a little guide that will share with them the meaningful ins and outs of life.
Yes, we know that there are tired fathers in delivery rooms.
It’s hard to hold your wife’s hand, tell her that it’s gonna be okay, and to push. Right? 😉 Well, maybe.
But usually it’s external factors that make soon-to-be fathers tired, like the hours that go by waiting for the little one to be born. So yeah, it’s possible that you, as a soon-to-be father, are stressed, but one thing you can bet more money on than you’ve ever been able to in your life, is that the soon-to-be mom is WAaaaaAAAAay more tired than you are.
So having said that, let’s focus our attention on where it really matters: your wife and your baby.
Top 5 Tips to REALLY Take Care of Your New Family from Day 1
1. Get Your NEW Priorities Straight.
We’ve all heard of cavemen.
When you think of a caveman, do you ever imagine him sleeping?
So if men are supposedly much more advanced than your historic counterparts, what makes you think that you should sleep more than your wife does that first day?
No excuse that you come up with is good enough, so don’t waste your time even trying to come up with one.
And while we’re on the topic of sleeping… you know that blanket that your wife packed for the hospital after she washed it with her favorite fabric softener?
It’s for her, not for you.
She needs it to be able to sleep as comfortable as possible, for at least tonight, after her efforts in the delivery room, knowing that she’ll have to put in a lot of effort into the sleepless nights that are to come.
2. Hold Yourself Accountable.
If your wife gave birth in any hospital, pay attention to the paperwork you signed, especially the one that you were asked to sign the first day, which says that you (or an adult that’s there with her) need to keep an eye on your wife as she’s feeding the baby to make sure that she doesn’t fall asleep while she’s holding him/her because yes sir, she really can be THAT tired and an extra pair of eyes is highly recommended. Trust me, you don’t want an accident to happen on your watch.
Plus, those ears of yours that hear the baby when it wakes up and wants to be held are more useful now than ever. Don’t wait for your wife to wake up from her sleep in order for you to continue sleeping. It’s your baby, too. 3. Remember Your Role.
Remember, you’re the knight in shining armor and your task is to protect your family unit and shoo and shield away anybody and anything that drains your wife’s energy.
How do you know what does?
Communicate with her flawlessly, listen to her and comply with her requests.
4. Help Her Eat.
Yes, we know that typically you eat more than your wife.
But if she’s breastfeeding, she’ll need about 500 extra calories a day to produce enough milk, so for the sake of your baby’s nourishment, let her eat in peace as best you can.
She literally, and more than ever, needs to eat to replenish herself.
Even more than during the pregnancy, she is eating for two.
5. Become a Mind Reader. (Even if it’s for the 1st Time In Your Life).
Yep, you heard that one right.
Read your wife’s mind to the best of your ability and be as in tune as possible to what she may need.
Challenge yourself to anticipate as many of her needs as you can.
After all, you’ve probably known her for years, right?
And you probably read a parenting book or two that warns you of how much more you’ll have to help your wife which listed for you the specific ways in which you can help.
So don’t think that your wife doesn’t know that you KNOW what to help her with.
And if for some strange reason you haven’t read any book and your baby is on the way any minute now, just know that helping your wife, isn’t rocket science.
What do you think she wants that she doesn’t even have enough energy to ask you to do?
How can you come up with answers to such a “hard and vague” question?
EASY! Put yourself in her shoes. If YOU just gave birth, what would YOU want your partner to do for you?
Focusing on her needs as she takes care of the baby will be THE best way for you to let her know that you support her during this newly embarked journey called parenthood.
Which by the way, lasts a lifetime.
What Your Support Boils Down To
Be sure to at least take 50% of her every-day responsibilities that you can do (even if you’ve never done them before) off her plate and do them for her.
She is by design, already giving much more to the baby than you ever will be able to. (Read that again if you need to, let it sink in).
If she thought you were sexy doing laundry, you will blow her away if you do at least these 5 tips for being a good husband and father. You’ll earn points, for later, if you know what I mean. 😉 (But give her time).
To wrap up, your wife feels an immense need and desire to take care of the baby.
During those first few hours, give her the gratification of being the mother she has dreamed of being for years by taking care of her during this time when she really DOES need you to step up and be the best man you’ve EVER been, because she is being the best woman she’s ever been for the child you were blessed to have.
Share Your Wisdom Tokens With Us
Regardless of whether you’re a wife or a fellow dad, do you have any other suggestions for new fathers?
If you found this article useful, share the 5 Points Husbands Can Score 72 Hours After The Baby Is Born with other couples you know. We never know what “good” we can do in the world by helping someone contribute to allowing the best moments in life to flow as smoothly as possible.
The Best (and Continuously Improving) U.S Cloth Diaper that Your Baby Should Use
If at the sound of “cloth diaper” you have a negative association, such as cringing or sticking out your tongue, you are in for a real treat. Why? Because when it comes to cloth diapers, they don’t make things as BAD as they used to. In other words, diapers today are much better than they were in the past. Trust me!
Which Diaper Brand is Best?
After much research, I have found that Fuzzibunz is the best diaper brand for the reasons described below:
the cloth used for the exterior and the interior is high quality and will maintain its appearance well
the exterior is smooth and flattering on the baby
the interior is super cozy and absorbent
your baby will rarely have any accidents with Fuzzibunz and a “number one” type accident is more common than a “number two” accident. And the Lord knows, if you’re going to have either one of these accidents, it is much better to have a “number one” type of accident.
at first glance, the buttons may seem like a little “bit” too many, but, they are intuitively easy to use
Why Some Parents Don’t Want Their Babies to Wear Cloth DIapers and Why They Should
Below are some of the myths surrounding why cloth diapering is a rag. Read for yourself to see where you stand on this dilemma.
Cloth diapers are expensive: While a a Fuzzibunz diaper usually costs you about $20.00, these $20.00 that you spend in a diaper is reusable for the baby that you bought it for and for all of the babies to come. As a result, this money will not go either down the drain or down a landfill.
Courtesy of www.fuzzibunz.com There’s no denying that cloth diapers are a bit of an investment, but at the going price of diapers these days, $25.26 for a pack of 100 size 1 diapers, a little introspection can make the obvious even more obvious to you. Disposable diapers are super expensive. Many newborns can easily use up 10 diapers a day, which means that the 100 disposable diaper box, that you thought was going to last forever, will only last about 10 days. Roughly, you would be spending more than $75.00 a month on diapers. And $75 the next month… and again, and again. Who wouldn’t want to save more than $2,500 in a span of 3 years by using cloth diapers instead of disposable diapers? While the prize may still sound steep, you should not feel turned off by the prize yet. There are promos thst happen throughout the year that can allow you to save more. Sometimes special print patterns will go on sale Abd you’ll be able to get 6 diapers for the prize of 5. And you can increase the savings even more by buying bundles of 6 or more, even though you don’t get the opportunity to hand-pick the colors of these diapers. These savings have worked so well for me that I haven’t needed to resort to yet another cost saving tip that you believe exists! Did you know that there are sites that specialize in selling gently used cloth diapers? As I said, I haven’t bought used cloth diapers yet, even though I hear that they’re wonderful quality, believe it or not.
Another common complaint is that Fuzzibunz are hard to wash –As you know, and excuse me in advance for being so blunt, the majority of the time, when you go to a restroom, you go #1 instead of #2, so the majority of the cloth diapers that you’ll have to handle will be wet instead of soiled. And for those that are soiled, two simple things can solve the “problem.” A) either the poop is “ploppable” (meaning you can plop the vast majority down the toilet) or B) you can eliminate the rest of the soil by spraying it away with water. Where and how is up to you. As a matter of fact, there is a popular shield on Amazon that can take the grossness away. It’s called the Spray Pal. It’s a shield to protect your bathroom walls. Or if you are the outdoorsy type and/or you don’t want to risk splashing anything in your bathroom, you can use a hose nozzle. By the way, I highly recommend this hose nozzle even if for some reason, you decide not to cloth diaper. It is a superb, durable, and eco-friendly nozzle.
Some parents might think that going on cloth diapers is uncomfortable – Imagine having a plastic bag attached to your behind for hours on end. Imagine having to poop there. Imagine hearing the noise of that plastic-like contraption every time someone picks you up, you move or you walk? While disposable diapers seem to have come a long way in terms of comfort, the bottom line is: would you prefer to be wearing something stiff and plasticky or soft, pliable and breathable? What do you think your baby would pick if he/she could talk or choose. If you’re still unsure, think about what you would prefer to use to clean your behind after going to the bathroom, with a diaper, or with a cloth? Focus on the comfort. Realize too, that your baby deserves that comfort.
It’s more convenient to use disposables. -Really? For whom exactly? You most likely will say for you. But what about everybody else? Is it nice to smell a trash can full of diapers? Is it healthy for the environment to fill landfills with disposable diapers that take about 500 YEARS each to decompose all because you couldn’t toss a load of diapers in the washer or you couldn’t plop or rinse the soil off a diaper? And don’t use the baby as the excuse. Yes, in the event that the water runs out, that you’re out camping or that a major natural disaster strikes, maybe regular diapers can save the day…. but normally, you’ll find that having clean diapers, just like you have clean clothes to wear each day, is doable.
Your house will be smelly with dirty diapers– Luckily in an era of DiaperGenies, you don’t have to worry too much about dirty disposable diapers. However, if you had no such nose-savers… I guarantee, that you will be more motivated to wash the dirty cloth diapers much more often than you take out the garbage truck picks up your trash. In other words, your home will have less dirty diapers if you cloth diaper and are good about washing the diapers. An added perk? You will never have a dog, cat, or any other wild animal make you pick up a dirty diaper that was plastered on your driveway or sidewalk.
Cloth Diapers give baby Rashes– Very much on the contrary, my friend. More babies get rashes from regular cloth diapers due to the 50+ chemicals that you can find on there. With cloth diapers, the biggest concern, which is very easy to take care of, is using the adequate soaps that preserve the absorbency of the cloth diapers, and which luckily for your baby and for the planet, are the most natural detergents are the market. Thus, the likelihood of your baby getting a rash from a natural detergent is very slim. You can’t use diaper cream on babies, without protecting the cloth diaper with a cloth diaper liner, but it is very unlikely that your baby will need diaper cream.
Cost of natural detergent is more expensive- Cloth diapers do require a tad of extra care in that the soap that you use does have to be less in quantity and more natural than what you use for regular loads. However, using fabric softeners are not recommended (you’re saving money there). You can find the cloth diapering soap either at the supermarket or on the Internet. Detergents like Green Rocks or Fuzzibunz Detergent work well. You can also buy Tide Free and Gentle (with store-bought brands, it’s best to use about 1/4 of the normal detergent amount). There are companies who test out various soaps to inform you of which soaps work best. Even though you have to use these natural detergents, you can still wash your own laundry and/ or your baby’s laundry with this soap and your clothing will still come out clean.
Additional Benefits for Cloth Diapering
Let’s talk about the many benefits of cloth diapers.
Absorbency– Cloth diapers are so absorbent that there are people who don’t need to change their baby at night, and if they do, it’s not as frequently. This is helpful to know because you can be more at ease knowing that the baby will not be prone to diaper rashes. Furthermore, regardless of whether the climate is warm or not, the baby will not be either excessively warm or excessively cold at any point while wearing the cloth diaper as he/she would if he/she were wearing a regular diaper.
Cuteness– Cloth diapers are cute. Let’s admit it, babies and cuteness go hand in hand. So much so, that some parents like for their babies to be in diapers, instead of covering the diaper with additional clothing. If your worried about knee carpet burn once your baby starts crawling there are leg warmers for boys and girls that you can use to protect your babys legs. Using leg warmers can make diaper changes a breeze since you would just need to undo the cloth diaper snaps. If would prefer to allow your baby to be in his diaper all day, you can use the leg warmers to keep the baby warm and look as though if he/she were wearing pants.
Guarantee– Fuzzibunz are of such high quality, that you will not have to worry if a snap breaks since this brand has a lifetime snap guarantee. If the snaps pop off, you can have your diaper replaced. Furthermore there are other protections that your warrantee provides. To find out more, you can click on this link. If you need to replace the elastic you can contact Fuzzibunz and they’ll send you an elastic for free. In order to receive these benefits, make sure that you register your cloth diapers. They offer some of the best customer service I’ve come across. And I’m very picky about customer service.
Innovation– Fuzzibunz is a company that is always trying to improve itself. In less than 9 months time, it replaced it’s older, less than perfect, but still useable for small babies One Size diapers to the new and improved versionof the One Size diapers that are larger and more comfortable on the baby and allow you to place and remove the inserts (which all diapers come with two, by the way) with greater ease. Fuzzibunz diapers, in the time I’ve known them, truly do keep getting better and better.
One Size Diapers fit all babies and for a long time- I’m not telling you anything new when I say that babies grow up fast. Imagine this diaper! It’s one that can be used from the time your baby is born, to the time that your “not so baby anymore” is potty trained (the one size diapers have 30 possible adjustments that you can use to establish the perfect fit for your baby). How many of the cute clothing items that you received or bought for your baby will be as useable as these diapers for such a prolonged period of time? Not much! What does this translate into? More peace of mind since you have one less thing to worry about. And it translates into more cha-ching since diapers will be one less thing that you have to buy. My only warning is that you’ll find Fuzzibunz so valuable that you’ll always justify adding more to your collection.
Fuzzibunz was on TV– And nope, not in an informercial. The thing is. Fuzzibunz was on ABC’s Shark Tank. Even though it didn’t get funding from any of the shark investors, in my opinion, it was because it didn’t need to. That is, Fuzzibunz can stand in it’s own. Any time I can, I recommend Fuzzibunz to mothers. They have been a god-sent product for me.
Try Fuzzibunz. You will not regret experimenting with how wonderful they are. I won’t say they’re perfect. Nothing really is, but boy, they sure have many more positives than negatives! Literally, Fuzzibunz has your baby’s behind and your pocketbook’s.
Now It’s Your Turn To Share The Things You Treasure
What is your reason for cloth diapering? Do you have a favorite brand that you’d like to share? Please share in the comments below. If you know of a soon-to-be mommy, please share this advice with them. Cloth diapering is a win-win-win for the people and causes that really matter.