Category: Love and Treasure Aha Moments to Help You In Life

The Three Profound and Impactful Ways Relationships End

There are three ways that relationships end. There are the:

Relationships that we ended
Relationships that someone else ended and informed us of
Relationships that ended God knows why

Each of these categories has it’s challenges, but there is one that is more difficult and traumatizing for you than the rest? Do you know which one I’m talking about? Read this article and see if your guess is correct.

The Pros and Cons of Relationships that We End

Although it is counterintuitive, one of the most difficult behavioral patterns that we can have is being in tune with what we want out of life and what we’re not willing to tolerate anymore. This metacognition or self-awareness is wonderful in and of itself, after all, knowledge is power, right? But there are definitely pros and cons.

Pros: Knowing that a relationship no longer suits us requires, or actually demands, that we do something about this change. If we’re negatively being affected by someone, it’s important that we speak up and talk to them about how we’re feeling. This poses a great amount of vulnerability because we don’t know if they are actually going to comply with our requests and honor our feelings or not. If they do, it’s great if we’re satisfied. If they don’t comply, then it’s one more reason to end the relationship sooner versus later. However, we must offer them an adequate amount of time to make the change. As tough as it may seem, this usually requires less than a month, at most a few months. It does not require a year or years as some people (especially women, unfortunately) think.

Our goal in any relationship isn’t to give an infinite amount of “chances” to people, it’s to be invested enough in it that you feel the love from the other person and can easily make the daily decision to love them.

Cons: When people don’t honor our needs even after we have spoken to them about it, as painful as it is, it’s necessary to say good-bye. How you do it is up to you. How you should do it is with conviction, love for yourself and compassion (or love) for the other person.

The Pros and Cons of Relationships that Others End

Being on the receiving end of an ended relationship is super difficult. Thankfully, we experience these endings sparingly in life.

Pros: When someone ends a relationship, we can be mature enough to either ask for a reconsideration, if we know that we have what it takes to make the relationship better. Or, we can accept that it’s time for the relationship to end. This awareness of the dissolution of a relationship is much easier when the other person is considerate enough to tell you why the relationship failed with conviction, love and compassion at least and tact and grace as a bonus. It’s never ever “good enough” to end a relationship via a “have a good life,” “see ya never” type of text, email, social media message or phone answering system message. Both people need to have the opportunity to express themselves. And when you’re told why they’re ending a relationship with you, hopefully it’s done with more tact than “I’m fed up with you.” Because abrupt statements such as these, if they had never been this rude with you before can startle you. Hard as you may try you can’t process what it is that just happened. But you are willing to close the book and call it a day. Not out of want… but you’re just in so much shock and pain… that you’re literally not thinking on your feet, because by that point, you’re on your knees– because they hit you behind the knees with their out-of-the-blue statement.

Cons: When you’re “informed” that someone wants to end a relationship with you, you ache, because either your heart is really invested or your ego is really hurt. You wonder, “What the hell? I gave my all to this relationship… and they no longer want to be part of it?” And then you start the pity party with yourself… the “I must not be good enough” thoughts come marching in by the hundreds. Time will perhaps be your greatest ally in recovering. But you know what else will be super helpful for you? Knowing that the other person wanted to end the relationship with you. It wasn’t the greatest thing someone has ever told you, but at least you know.

The Pros and Cons of Relationships that End God Knows Why

Perhaps by now you’ve caught on to the point that the relationships that hurt the most aren’t the ones in which someone tells you that they no longer want to see you. They also aren’t the ones when you have to muster up the courage to tell someone that you want out of a relationship (although of course those can be hard). It’s the relationships that leave you with the thought of “Wait, what just happened? Can sommmmmebody please tell me what just happened.” These are the relationships that are “magical” negatively speaking. These disappear out of thin air.

Cons: Since we’ve been talking about the cons, let’s flip the pros/cons sequence and talk about the cons first. When a relationship that you didn’t really value evaporates, you can live with it after a while. When a relationship that you DO really value does a Houdini on you… you are pretty much literally traumatized for life. And really, we’re all a bunch of traumatized people thanks to this one way that someone escaped out of our lives. Out of our embrace. Out of care. Out of our love. Think about it… how often do you tell someone “see ya”? Sometimes you may confess that you’re a goner, but honestly, you have played Houdini and escaped out of someone’s life, haven’t you? How many times has someone said “hasta la vista” to you? It depends on what you’re like and what people you’ve allowed to enter in your life. Lastly, how many people have come in and out of your life “seamlessly” without leaving a trace? I’m assuming it’s more than the first two, right? Why? People have trouble hurting other people. They rather shut their mouth than state the truth and see someone shut their eyes and cry. They rather shut people out suddenly, than be there to bless someone, and give an “I understand this is tough” hand squeeze. We’re all perpetrators of this.

Pros: Having experienced a loss that we question time and time again, year after year why it ended is difficult, but in its own weird way, it’s a blessing. “But why?” you might be asking. Simply put, it keeps us human. Our egos don’t get super inflated to the point that we think that we’re irreplaceable. This in turn makes us more compassionate because we know that moving forward and after analyzing this third category of how relationships end that most likely you hadn’t verbalized or really thought about (other than being obsessed with wanting to know why the relationship ended)… you are much less likely to disappear out of someone’s life, without saying good-bye. Think about it, when someone dies, and they disappear suddenly out of our life, one of our greatest torments that you have is “I never got to say good-bye.” So in a death of a relationship, it’s super important to allow yourself and the other person to bring closure to that relationship. It’s the most humane way of moving on. I know that there are poets and writers who say that some people that come into your life either fall off a tree like leaves or exit the train of your life like regular passengers on a train. I have an issue with that for one simple reason. While I know that life normally has a “natural” way of working out, who is to say that the person that you most want to get rid of isn’t the person that who has the capability of loving you the most? Of course you have to use your own judgement, your own expectations for your life, but you also need to use your fairness. Be tactfully open about why you no longer want to speak to someone as soon as you can verbalize it. That way, people can also have the same opportunity to do what you’re doing and that is, to move on. In the end, this is beneficial for you too, because you won’t feel as guilty as you would if you just left with absolutely no explanation. (By the way, why do you think you feel guilty when you do this?) If there is one thing you should remember it’s the good ol’ Golden Rule… don’t do unto others as you would not like them to do to you. Typically knowledge is power. When it comes to relationships, knowledge is love.

Share Your Wisdom With Us

Which relationship closure is the most painful for you? Why?

If you want to help prevent the perpetuation of “traumatized” individuals going about their day to make this world a better place, half-present and absent-mindedly, share this article with those that you believe in can help bring closure to a relationship the right way.

What is the One Thing that is Sabotaging your Life and What You Can Do to Eliminate It

I first became acquainted with Iyanla Vanzant when she first came out on Oprah. Something that struck me about her then and that continues to strike me now, is the loving manner in which she tells it like it is. She invites you to reflect about your life as a sister would… with love and compassion, but truly encouraging you to live a life that allows you to be better and freer. In other words, she has very little tolerance for B.S. and she inspires you to have very little tolerance for your own B.S..

What Is Our Biggest Issue with Forgiveness?

While living a better and a freer life can sound like a cliche or a generality, Iyanla’s book, Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone and Everything, is a flashing, bright, neon, symbolic sign (which many of us can’t see or simply ignore) of what many of us need— to forgive— in order to live unchained to our past and little by little, untether ourself from our issues. Think about it, what usually holds you back? Fear that you’ll get hurt if so and so does such and such to you. Put another way, you’re afraid that you’ll taste humiliation again, and you’re afraid because you dislike the taste of humiliation (who likes it?) within your own body. And who controls what goes on in our own body? We do. The act(s) you lived through that you think is/are so horrendous happened in the past, but you continue to relive it/them in the present. It’s like watching the scariest movie scene that “traumatized” you over and over again, instead of focusing your attention elsewhere. Who does that? As incomprehensible as it might be, we do. Why? Because at some subconscious or conscious level, revisiting these undesirable episodes in our life and rehashing them to the people in our life and the new people that we meet works for us.

You willingly let fear paralyze you because you would rather be be paralyzed than be hurt.

Paralysis, isn’t as painful as hurt. As you’ve probably experienced, many times, after we’ve been hurt, we build a wall around us SOOOO high that we prevent others from entering our lives and sadly, those people who WANT to be in our lives hardly ever are “out to get us.” Sadder still, those people who love us dearly, hardly ever get a chance to truly enjoy us… because we’re so adamant about keeping these walls up and we have a super annoying laser-focus on how we’ve been hurt in the past (rather than an appreciative focus on the present) that we can’t fully experience the love that surrounds us. But hey, I understand, shifts happen, and even the people who love us, hurt us from time to time. Being close to someone poses that “danger.” Think about it this way, just because there are traffic signs that warn us and help us maneuver our way on a physical road, doesn’t mean that there won’t be mistakes and/or accidents along the way. Likewise, knowing that the people who love us don’t typically want to hurt us, doesn’t mean that they won’t. They could misread our signals (especially the yield, stop and go signs), get the signs mixed up, be stuck in traffic in their own life and have their own issues to deal with. Their reaction to you is not always just about you... they have a life, too, you know? 😉 Plus, nobody’s perfect. Even you’re not perfect with yourself. And honestly, sometimes you don’t show (not demand from) the world how you would like to be treated. Think about it, we say we love ourselves, but sometimes, we hurt our own selves. Two of the many ways that we do that is by not forgiving ourselves and forgiving others. Believe it or not, there are things that we have to forgive that we’ve done to ourselves. Do you consider yourself your worst critic? You see? That’s what I mean!? When it comes to forgiving others, please, don’t use the phrase, “I’ve been working on forgiving so and so for (x number) of years” and think that the higher the number the more heroic your efforts. If you haven’t forgiven someone it’s because you don’t want to. Forgiveness doesn’t require years of constant effort, because it’s a decision. And a decision can be made in a small amount of time… often in an instant. As the book Forgivenessshows, though, there are many areas of our life that need healing, and we may have some blockages along the way, but 21 days should be, and is, more than enough time to forgive… especially when you consider that the person who most benefits from the act of forgiveness, is you.

What Can the book Forgiveness Teach Me?

Thankfully, this book, Forgiveness, teaches us how to use self-reflection, journaling, honesty in answering Iyanla’s questions, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), Iyanla’s guided meditations, forgiveness scripts and our willingness to focus on something other than our past and our wounds to move forward. In other words, we can learn to acknowledge our pain, and our hurt, but we need to move forward. Otherwise, we’re just scratching the wound and it’ll never heal. And really, isn’t that sad! and literally painful?

Working on Forgiveness Is a Gift that Keeps on Giving

As if the gift of forgiveness wasn’t enough, this book is a gift that keeps on giving. If you know Iyanla, you will have noticed that she is generous and so is her publisher, Hay House. For that reason. It shouldn’t surprise you to know that you can get bonuses with the purchase of this book. They can be found by visiting the following link: http://promos.hayhouse.com/vanzant/120313email/ This book stands on it’s own, but the resources make the book even more vivid and applicable.

Does EFT Work?

Now, in order to address what is perhaps your biggest question: does EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) work? It does work if YOU do the work. You have to commit to doing it and do it as often as needed. And there are other things that work as well of course. If you are experiencing blocks in love, work, relationships, health, mental wellbeing and in your finances, you need to take proactive action, but you also have to forgive. Many times, forgiveness, is the first step to moving ahead in life, but we’re often so conditioned to take action, think positively and/or accept our reality as “status quo” that it doesn’t occur to us to forgive. After all, we’re also encouraged to compartmentalize the way that we live and to separate the good, or in this case the so-so, from the bad. You think… “I haven’t forgiven _____, but that can’t possibly have anything to do with why my income is less than it once was.” But as this book teaches us, things that don’t seem to have a connection do. And forgiveness and lack of thereof, has a huge connection to our blocks, sabotages and in life.

What Does it Take to Forgive?

Forgiveness requires a high degree of self-love because it necessitates that you have enough compassion to not necessarily let someone else off the hook for what they did, but to let YOURSELF off the hook for letting that incident happen to you, for not removing yourself from the situation sooner, for making a decision that you could’t exactly know would yield an undesired result, stop thinking that you have to avenge or keep score of any misdoings and continuing to believe that you have to be affected by the negative incident(s). You have to especially let yourself off the hook by not punishing yourself and stop believing that due to what’s happened to you, that you can’t or shouldn’t be happy.

Happiness should be what redeems you from your hurt and your pains.

Asking you to be happy may seem like an impossibility, but look at it this way, since you can’t change the past (although I KNOW you wish you could), what would make all your suffering “worth it”? Being happy, right? Meaning if you had to go through that tough time, the least you can expect/wish for is going through a really good time now. Of course, you can (and should) learn from and be wiser thanks to your past hurts (because yep, as hard as it is to accept, or as cliche as it may seem, everything DOES in fact happen for a GOOD reason). As Oprah and Maya Angelou have said, “when someone teaches you who they are, believe them.” So be wiser with whom you allow to be a guest in your life. Don’t justify their misdoings for them and don’t stop listening to your intuition just because you feel sorry for them. Apply this to yourself as well… if you don’t want to be the victim of a situation, make sure that your mentality is not that of a victim. Don’t fall into the trap that “it’s better to be the victim than the perpetrator” just because it’s more socially acceptable to be the former instead of the latter. Don’t retell your sad stories to the world over and over again just because you want other people’s empathy. You know what society loves even more than victims? Heroes of their own story that inspire others to live THEIR life fully. In sum, it comes down to one question: Are you going to continue being a victim and publicly lick your own wounds forever or are you going to use your voice to speak your truth, to state your dreams and to take your stance?

I received this book for free from Hay House for review purposes.

Now It’s Your Turn

If you’re really up for it, I’d love for you to take the opportunity to answer this question:

Are you going to continue being a victim and publicly lick your own wounds forever or are you going to use your voice to speak your truth, to state your dreams and to take your stance?

If the above question is a little TMI (too much information) for you to answer right now, please answer these questions:

What is your best advice for forgiving? What has the process of either forgiving or being forgiven taught you?

Please share your responses with us. This is the type of topic that matters and can really inspire us to move forward in life and simultaneously, move life forward.

What Nobody Told Me About Motherhood, But Wish They Had

No matter how much we prepare for motherhood, there isn’t any book that prepares us for the nitty-gritty details that can surprise us in a good way or in a bad way when the baby arrives. We are told that parenthood will be the ride of our life, but we don’t know the exactly what the ups, downs, twists, turns, bumps, surprises, backups, or altitudes will be until we start the journey. We wonder, “Are we equipped with everything we’ll need or will we need to make stops along the way to ask for directions?” The great news is that the baby will be your life tour guide in more ways than one.

What Motherhood Taught Me Out in the Field

Motherhood taught me:

That I would get 1 or 2 hours per day of sleep for the first few of months.

That the other waking hours of my day during approximately the first year would primarily consist of breastfeeding.

That maternity leave would require more effort than a 40 hour work week vs. a 22-24 hour day (but that even then, motherhood would be much more gratifying).

That people would want to visit our family (or rather our baby) more than they had in their entire life.

That taking a shower would be a luxury.

That going to the bathroom would be a luxury which wouldn’t be as private as it used to be.

That eating a meal uninterrupted, would be an impossibility for years to come (unless you ate when the baby was asleep, yet even then the baby would most likely awake when you were about to take your first bite. (You know, that bite that traditionally, people seem to enjoy the most 😉 ).

That going to my favorite restaurant would become a rare occurrence.

That staying at home would be much easier than going out.

That it’s easier to carry your baby by wearing him or her, than by carrying the baby stroller all over the place.

That it would be months before I went out alone again. And that when I finally did, I would feel guilty about it.

That I would miss my son even those times that I should have been thankful to have to myself because he has already become such a huge part of me.

That it’s much more rewarding to be attached to your child than to look for a baby sitter.

That my tolerance for embarrassment would increase.

That I could and wanted to drink this much water.

That checking one thing off of my to do list a day, would be such a huge accomplishment.

That I would be so inspired and energized to accomplish many of the goals that I had put in the back burner, because if you can be a great mother, you can do anything.

That all your other accomplishments would become pale in comparison to being a mother.

That my baby’s smile would be the best smile I had ever seen.

That I would grow more patient that I already am.

That I could love this much.

That I would be so blessed by the baby showers I received during pregnancy.

That co-creating and nurturing a life would be so rewarding.

That I would be so blessed no matter what else was going on.

Even though nobody told me about these things, in retrospect, I see them as little and sometimes huge “aha moments” and daily surprises all rolled into one that I didn’t mind discovering on my own. After all, there’s no better job training for how to be a mother, than motherhood itself. And there’s also no other jobs which such satisfying perks. Motherhood may not be unicorns and rainbows, but unquestionably, motherhood is the closest thing to it and thr most beautiful.

Share Your Wisdom Treasures With Us

So it’s now your turn to share your unique and purposeful experience:

What have you learned about motherhood that nobody told you about?
Do you think it’s better to be fully informed about motherhood, or to have some surprises along the way.

If you’d like, you may want to share this email with expecting mothers. Or, we can prefer to let them enjoy the ride of motherhood in their own self-paced journey. After all, they will soon have a little guide that will share with them the meaningful ins and outs of life.

Believe in Your Art– Whatever it is.

“You need to have the belief that your creativity is inextricable with being prosperous-like you make art, you deserve to be prosperous from putting that art into the world. You deserve it. Let me say this again, you deserve it. That’s just gotta be basic for you. You have to wash out any ideologies that you’re not worth it – that your art isn’t worth it, somebody wants your art. And you gotta be focused. You gotta be ruthlessly and intensely focused on having your definition of it all, which is creative self-expression and prosperity.” -Danielle LaPorte

Who or What are You Secretly Thankful for This Year?

Who or What are You Secretly Thankful For This Year?

There are times in life when we are blessed with circumstances that at first glance seem catastrophes, obstacles, disasters and major flops. We think that we’ve just been dealt the most sour hand, that we have just been confronted with the most disappointing betrayal and any sense of pride that we had up until that point has been shattered. And we’re right, in some way. Life as we know it, is forever changed. But just as we wipe away the tears that ironically usually last less than 30 seconds at a time regardless of the immense pain we may feel, our eyes inevitably open up to a whole new world. And THAT is a good thing! Unless of course you want to continue being stuck in circumstances that don’t truly support who you are, don’t honor your essence and that don’t have your best interest in mind for what could be a truly fantastic and purposeful life.

What Changes are Going On in Your World?

How do you prefer to feel heartache? Slowly or over time? For example, pretend that you have a wonderful and exquisite 16-piece china set that you totally love and treasure. Would you rather have 16 different kitchen accidents for 16 pieces to be destroyed in their own way and make you suffer a loss 16 times? Or would you rather just drop the entire darn set once, cry for 30 seconds and get over it? I would say that the majority of us would just prefer the set to be shattered once. However, when we face what to us may seem catastrophic losses, we chicken out. Sadly, some of you don’t realize that the earthquake, tornado, tsunami and hail that you experience simultaneously is something that even your MOST sabotaging thoughts and patterns couldn’t have created… and that you’ve been “spared” multiple prolonged painful experiences that drag over the span of several years and/or decades in order to just experience the china set shattering once, pick up the pieces once and then move on peacefully without breaking a single glass in yeeeears. We think that we can’t handle life’s letdowns. But you know what? You CAN. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.

So, regardless of whether you’ve experienced little losses lately or HUGE losses, little pains or HUGE pains, little disappointments or HUGE disappointments, isolated negativity or in one unified and glorious shebang, be thankful. Maybe you’re one of the “lucky” people that only get little negativity and have a generously glorious life. Or maybe you’re the type of person who can manifest the sympathy of a higher power to face one difficult, but single downpour of crap that forces you to soften the grip of what is negatively affecting you and you’re so foolishly holding on to and acts as a laxative that allows you to release all your crap and the pain, waiting, suffering, shame and guilt that goes along with it.

You must let the autumn leaves of your life fall as they need to in order for your life to showcase its magnificence and its beauty.

Regardless of which reality you’ve been a part of, KNOW that what you experienced was so that you can learn a lesson from this earth school that life represents. Some of you may resist the idea that life is in fact a school, but note that if you aren’t learning from the lessons that the Universe is HELPING you to notice, the lessons will keep on repeating themselves in different circumstances, until you learn the them. Instead of seeing this as unfair or tedious, focus your attention on trying to be an A+ student, and accept the Universe’s help in being one. And why not? Borrow its notes once in a while, you might find purposeful treasures that you hadn’t contemplated before, and wouldn’t discover otherwise.

Whether you believe anything that I’m saying or not is irrelevant. After all, you create your own reality. The important thing is that you’re here. Alive. Powerful. Standing. You may have a scar on your knee, but you have a smile on your face. And you know what? The saying that there is always light at the end of the tunnel is also true. Even the most prolonged crisis has an end. One day. For every one. Somehow. Hopefully the end is a happy one. And even when you think that there’s no way out, that nobody cares, that nobody knows, that other people have greater problems that deserve more attention, and you question why these types of things “always” happen to you, you’re not alone. So smile, and feel my hug. Better yet, feel the hug of the Universe that is reassuring YOU that no matter what, if you listen to your intuition and try to seek the healthiest way out of the situation that you’re in, things will be alright. Really! Don’t take my word for it, though. Try it.

Blessings to be Thankful For This Thanksgiving

We can dwell on your issues, try to convince you about their potential blessings in disguise that they represent and even brainstorm solutions to your issues. However, if you want to see some things start to shift NOW for the better (in your mind and in what you attract into your life, mainly), start with giving thanks RIGHT NOW for what you have. Give thanks for the good things and give life for the challenges because the sooner you learn from the lessons that the challenges are trying to teach you, the sooner you can move on to a hopefully much easier and less painful lesson. Repeat this gratitude exercise daily or as often as you realistically can (I know, I know, life gets in the way). Let this become you’re catharsis, which the dictionary states is “the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from strong or repressed emotions.” By cleansing your mind of the negative, and projecting thanks towards that which is there to make you happy or make you stronger, you will obtain a greater sense of relief. It’s as though you and the Universe will help you chip away the excess marble… sometimes softly, sometimes not so softly, so that the end, both you and your life are as much of a masterpiece as they can be.

So think about it… what are you thankful for? If you’re drawing a blank, analyze if these examples below may be some things you’re thankful for. Then think of some of your own.

Your family, those people that you can REALLY call family, who may seem distant, but who are always there, a phone call, a text or a social media post away. The blessings of a family include the newest and youngest members of the family who make you forget about your woes, the most senior members of the family (whom, if they’re admirable people, have a lot of wisdom of the universe that you can learn from if you’d only stop to really listen to them) and everybody in-between
Your friends, those near and far, former and actual, who valued you or had the misfortune of failing to value you despite you knowing how special you are 😉 yet taught you, without knowing, who your friends truly are. Those ‘friends’ who are just a number on your social media profiles or those you really want to spend time with you face to face to share what they’re doing lately, their inspirations, their physical photos and their interests, and what’s going on in their circles
Your life and all the positivity it has given you– much more than you can even wrap your brain, heart and soul around
Your dreams, both accomplished and soon to be accomplished, if you trust and put the hustle and backbone in them and in you that’s needed
Your essence— for being you, period
Your possibilities and the expansiveness and elation that that realization evokes in your soul and imagination deep down
Your strides so far (they’ve been great by the way =) )… hopefully you’re still on the right track, and if you’ve gotten off course, get back on, PLEASE, for the love of whomever you most value and wish the world for
Your health that is unfailing and if it has failed it’s simply as a request for you to pay better attention to yourself so that you can have the perfect health you’re meant to have
Being able to enjoy your favorite meal this Thanksgiving or any day, for that matter
Having people who want you sitting with them at a Thanksgiving table
For all of the lessons that you’ve learned, the hard or the easy way
For being part of this human race, part of your “species family”, that is some inexplicable way is connected to you and you to it, if you simply stopped to notice and feel in your heart
For being able to be loved and for having the capacity to love
For seeing the wonder, growth and evolution of the people or pets you cherish the most.
For all the good causes in the world attempting to straighten this place up
For all the lifelines that God, the Universe or whomever you believe in gave you unconditionally. These lifelines have given you a greater sense of peace that allows you to be more present in your life today.

Now It’s Your Turn to Share What You’re Thankful For

There are many ways to ponder upon what you’re thankful for. Some of you may prefer to pray, others to meditate, others to do yoga or tai chi, or simply take a walk to think. Regardless of your preferred method, instead of just thinking about the things you’re grateful for, jot them down in your own physical journal/diary or in the storm-proof electronic Penzu Journals that you can get at 20% off and that you can keep under “lock and key” in an encrypted online environment and be able to access from anywhere using the internet or a web-enabled mobile device. The power of the written word is enormous. And, writing down the things that you’re grateful for will allow you to consolidate them as things that you’re truly thankful for and the Universe will reward you with even more things to write on your journal. Why? Because what we focus on, expands.

If you’re willing, share what you’re thankful for below. Can’t wait to read and be inspired by the many things that all of us are so blessed to have, that are right there in front of us, but that we so often fail to see! Happy Thanksgiving Day today and always!

Are You Afraid of Your Destiny and How Can You Feel Confident in Your Future?

Caroline Myss is always one someone that serves “aha!” moment after “aha!” moment. This week she spoke of the reason why people fear their destiny. Read about what she has to say about fate vs. destiny:

Who is driving your train?

“If you’re going to talk about destiny, you have to talk about fate… because the two go hand in hand together. And the difference is…

Your fate is like riding the train of your life in the caboose and your destiny is like driving the engine. You can only have one engineer and that’s destiny.

So people who live their destinies are people who are very strongly individualized, they have a really strong sense of themself, they have a strong sense of who they are, and they know how to make a decision. But more than making a decision, they know how to handle the consequences of the decisions they make, and that’s what’s people fear. When they think about upping the notch of the next level of their life, we have an inherent knowledge that it means ‘I have to make stronger, more far reaching decisions.’ And it’s not that the decisions are that difficult, it’s that we fear the consequences of the decisions. And people who have a strong sense of destiny can handle the consequences of their decisions.

People who have “fate,” they let other people make their choices for them. And thus, they end up wherever it is they end up in life. They’re kind of dragged along at the end of the train. And they have to figure out what port they’ve arrived in because they’re not driving their own [train], and they’re not doing their own calculations. Other people make their decisions for them.

They’re in the hands of fate. And it’s very frightening for other people to take charge of their own life. But they fear it because they know ‘If I take charge of my life, a lot of the ways and relationships that I’ve had are going to fade away, I will let go of that.'”

Your Reflection Space for Nurturing Your Spirit

So are you driving your engine? Or are you placidly and hopelessly sitting on the caboose of your caboose? Let me know by leaving a comment below. What was your favorite “aha” moment?