Have You Ever Really Analyzed Who You Love?
Yes, chances are, you probably have analyzed people one by one, but chances are, you haven’t analyzed all the people whom you love collectively.
It’s a pretty eye-opening experience.
Want to try it?
List the top 10 people who love you in your life.
You can find a PDF for this exercise by clicking Love and Treasure this Moment of Introspection- Who or What Do We Find Loveable .
Read the categories below.
As you do, ask yourself under which category you would like each person that you listed to fall under?
In other words, what would be your favorite reason for that person to love you?
Here are the categories:
Those that come with the package:
- Those who come included, as a default in your life.
- These include your parents, brothers, sister, cousins, aunts, in-laws.
- This type of love is tepid depending on whether or not these people engage in the love reasons below.
- This love is essentially a given. But, contrary to what others tell you and what you try to convince yourself of, this love isn’t special purely standing on it’s own.
- It’s bland.
- It’s like loving because you have no choice, rather because you want to.
Those who uplift you— this is sometimes reciprocal and sometimes it’s not
- These people don’t necessarily love you. But they can. At the least, they hold you in high regard.
- But they’ve been instrumental in our life journey in allowing you to reach more of our potential.
- We love these people not necessarily because they love us (because they may or may not love you, but because they’ve made a difference in your life whether for a short period of time or for a long period of time.
Those who love you without having to
- They love you just because
Those who speak your love language and love you, most importantly, woo you in that love language (meaning the way that you most like to be loved)
- These people get you.
- They don’t give us crumbs.
- They feed us what we need (in a good way)
Those you desire.
- These are like an item you’re anticipating to get on your birthday or for Christmas.
- You might hardly know what it’ll be like having the gift, what the gift can do or not do, but MAN, you want it.
- Remember, you’re wrote a list of people who love you in your life.
- The chances of that “shiny person” to love you, are not as high as you would want.
- But hey, maybe you are lucky that way.
Those who love you innocently
- For me, this category is usually reserved for the babies or for the puppies, who, when they’re small, are able to give you so little, but yet so, so, so much.
- Even toddlers, even children, even teenagers and adult children should fall into this category.
- We should love children unconditionally.
- Without expectations.
- Without reservation.
- Because we want to.
- And our children should not be able to do anyyyyyyything to deserve a guilt trip from us or less love from us.
Those who love you because of how you help them, serve them, what you do for them or buy them
- in other words, they love you for their convenience
Before you start, note that there are some people who may fall under more than one category. In those cases, pay attention to what vibe or what sensation they leave you with.
In other words, if you had to categorize them into one of these categories…and never tell them why you think they love you, which category would they fall under?
Be honest with yourself, even though they may or may not be honest with you.
Pay attention to the feelings that come up as you realize why this person loves you… especially if it’s different than the reason why you would LIKE for them to love you.
Turn It Around And Do The Same Activity
This time, do this activity based these two questions:
- Who do you love?
- Why do you love them?
On page 2 of the handouts, do steps 1-4 listed above.
- Do you believe you love one another fairly?
- Why or why not?
Reflect on these questions:
- Who do you tend to love?
- What category do most of the people that you love fall under? What does this say about you?
- Do people love you according to the intention and the degree with which you love them?
- Do you love others based on how you WANT to love or are loved?
- What other conclusions can you draw from this activity?
- Who or what do you consider loveable?
- What, if anything would you like to change about your findings?