No matter how well we think we prepare for childbirth, at the end of the day, it’s not what we plan for that bothers us, it’s what we don’t plan as clearly. This blog, is sort of a to-do list for ways grandmas can help put those last final touches of perfection on the delivery day. Pass it on to a soon-to be-grandma as is or tweak it to fit your needs.
Grandma To Do List & Explanation For Why This List is Essential
Yes, Grandma. We know you’re excited. And so is your daughter who just gave birth. You want to know what the biggest difference between you and her is?
She is using ALL of her energy in trying to keep her balance, composure and grace in this important time of her life. You, on the other hand, can just focus your energy on being happy.
Every birth your daughter gives is an adjustment phase for her that you should be considerate of. Sadly, things are more peachy for you than they are for her, at least for these few hours. Your daughter is probably too out of it, too tired, too focused on the baby or too considerate to tell you, but if she could ask you anything, this is probably what she would ask you for:
1. Mom, let me make the decision as to whether or not you’ll be in the delivery room and never resent me for it.
2. No matter who is anxiously waiting in the waiting room to know how the birth turned out, wait until the nurses call you to come in. Don’t peek in the door/curtain…EVER!
3. As absurd and obvious as it may sound, the first night after delivery, I need as much sleep as I can get. One hour or two isn’t enough because most likely, I haven’t been able to sleep as much or as comfortably as usual in the last few days, weeks or months. So once the baby is born, and as long as I have someone staying with me, leave as early as possible for me to try to get some sleep (especially if you know that I like to go to bed early). And if the baby is born at night or in the wee hours of the morning, rejoice for a little bit with us and leave as soon as possible.
3. The day after the baby is born, when you come to visit, don’t mention that you got more hours of sleep than I did, I’m jealous already.
4. The first day at the hospital, ask at what time the hospital serves me breakfast, lunch and dinner and plan to eat around that time so that I don’t feel guilty that I have food and you don’t.
5. When my food comes… the only thing that should be preventing me from eating should be the baby. And even then, help out with the baby as much as possible especially while I’m eating. How else am I supposed to recover and gain energy to be on standby for the baby 24/7?
6. Before assuming that my answer will be yes, ask me if I will want company at home the day that I bring my baby home.
7. Respect the fact that my husband, my baby and I want to bond as a family… and need time to get our footing away from family and incessant nurse and doctor interruptions at the hospital.
8. Thank you for everything and for respecting these requests, regardless of how you feel about them.
Share Your Wisdom Treasures With Us
- So ladies (and gentlemen who support your ladies), have you had to make these types of requests to your mother (i.e. baby’s grandma) in order to enjoy your big day as much as possible?
- What have you requested?
- How did Grandma react?
- Was setting these clear expectations worth it?
- If you didn’t make these expectations, did you wish you had, or are you planning on doing so?