The answer to the question “Is Love Ever A Luxury?” depends on how you look at it, because a necessity for one person may be a luxury for another.
And a luxury for one person, may be a necessity for the next.
In A Way, Love Is NOT A Luxury
Love is not a luxury in the sense that you are ALREADY entitled to love no matter what.
It does not matter what:
• your education is
• your socioeconomic status is
• the size of your home is
• the size of your bank account is
• you’ve done in your past
• you haven’t done in your past
No glory detail or gory detail of your past entitles you to love nor excludes you from it.
You cannot do enough to deserve love or do so little that you’re unworthy of it.
The amount of love you earn in this world is not an indication of your worth. -Haydee Montemayor
Read that last sentence again.
Still doesn’t sink in? Read it again, if you need to.
You deserve love just because. Period.
Whether Love Is Fair And Equal Or Not Is Up For Discussion
This is just about the time where your ego may say:
“Wait a minute!”
“You mean everybody deserves love?”
The answer is yes.
What your ego is really wanting to ask is:
“So then, I can act however I want and do whatever I want because everybody no matter the harm that they do is deserving of love and will get love anyway?”
The answer is a multilayered one.
Yes, you can do whatever you want. However, how good you feel with how you act and what you do will depend on your values.
Most importantly, keep in mind that there is no exact return on the investment of your love.
You cannot control what you get from someone after you give them your love.
It’s like an investment.
Sometimes you win…. and you get beautiful love in return that fills your heart.
Sometimes you lose and end up broken hearted.
But remember this:
Love without expecting anything in return except to feel good. -Haydee Montemayor
Yes. Love because it makes YOU feel good.
That way, whether you get something in return or not isn’t that important.
It’s like helping a stranger in need. You give because you are inspired to give. Giving makes you feel good. If the stranger says thank you or not, uses it to bless his/her life or to further sink into despair, is not something you can control.
There are ONLY 4 things you can control when it comes to love:
- the quality of your love
- the frequency of your love (how often you give love)
- how you express it
- the intention with which you give it.
Focus On What You Can Control When You Give and Receive Love and Forget About What You Can’t Control
Wouldn’t it be nice if you got back as much as or more love than what you gave?
Actually, it would be “fair.” But, think about it.
The greatest people that lived in the past and are living today didn’t get as much love as they deserved.
Yeah, perhaps they lived with a “my cup is so darn FULL” mentality that they probably didn’t notice the love that they were missing or being denied.
Except, of course, when people overtly directed hatred toward them.
Nobody has been, is, or will ever be exempt to hatred, or indifference, unfortunately.
- Not the people whom religions are based on
- Not the saints
- Not the greatest historical heroes
Even in the present:
The kindest person that you know is usually not the one who has the most love.
This can often be seen in marriages. The kindest husbands often don’t have the most loving, most self-less, most helpful or most giving wives.
If you can’t see it, think about the most wonderful, “angelic” woman you know. Does she have a husband that is as utterly giving as her? No.
Have you noticed that?
It’s a generalization, of course. So this situation is not always the case, but it happens. And often.
In A Way, Love IS a Luxury
By luxury, I don’t mean the kind of thing that you shouldn’t have because it’s “too” expensive.
Love is affordable for everyone, but you have to work at maintaining it, growing it and improving it.
You can get love for free, but you have to invest in it continuously.
You have to maintain, grow and improve love like nothing else…. because love is delicate while being the strongest force. It’s elusive and it’s present.
You Literally Can’t Buy Love
There has never been, nor is there currently a fancy store that sells love (no matter how much they try to convince you otherwise).
They may sell symbols of love, like a diamond, for example, but not love itself.
But if there was a store that did sell love, it would be more expensive than any designer bag, jewel, designer pair of shoes, expensive phone or luxury car.
People often say that you can’t buy love and it’s not just that they don’t sell it… it’s that even if they did sell love, it would be too expensive.
It would cost more than anything you own and everything you have ever bought.
It would be a luxury that very few could afford.
The beautiful REALITY is, that you already have love. LOTS of it. An INFINITE amount of it, to be exact.
So that, my friend, makes you a billionaire.
You Wouldn’t Trade Love For The World
You know, both consciously and subconsciously that love is SOOO precious to you, that you wouldn’t give up your ability to love for any amount of money.
Most of you wouldn’t sell the people you most love for any price either.
You wouldn’t want to give up the love that you receive and you most treasure for any price.
So love really IS the most valuable thing you have.
You wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Human Beings Are The Only People Who Can Communicate Love With Both Words and Actions
Yes, your pet loves you and so does Mother Nature, but they can’t verbally tell you that.
So what this means is that since you are the only one who can give love conscientiously, deliberately, verbally and nonverbally, and with an awareness of how valuable love is, YOU are the most luxurious love container there is.
Move over crystal, gold, leather, mink, etc., because they’re pale compared to you! 🙂
Does crystal, gold, leather, mink give people joy?
Yes… for a short while.
But you have been giving love to people since you were born.
How old are you again?
____ years (fill in your own age)
That’s how long the impact of your presence and your love has lasted.
There should be a label on you that says “Giving love since _____ (the year you were born).”
I know it sounds absurd perhaps to think of yourself as a container of love, but you are the container and most importantly, you are the love.
So much so, that when you pass, you will still be the love.
Your love, will never, ever, ever, ever, die.
THAT is everlasting luxury. 🙂
Are Some Loves More Valuable Than Others?
They’re equal, generally speaking, because they have an equal inherent/original value… which it has simply because it is love.
But there’s no denying that your love is more valuable to some, than it is to others.
And there are loves in your life that you treasure more than others.
And that’s okay.
What Determines A Love’s Value?
How valuable someone’s love is depends on:
- its inherent/original value (which is great to begin with)
- the quality of the love at any given moment,
- how frequently they give you that love (which influences how used to you are to receiving it)
- how they express it
- the intention behind it
- the love needs of the person receiving it and
- the love needs of the person giving it (surprised by this? Think how many people love while expecting something in return).
And I want to compare loves not out of a “she gives better love than I do” mentality, that all it does is promote jealousy, comparison and offended egos, but out of a deep invitation for YOU to evaluate YOUR love.
Are you offering a high quality love most of the time to people who truly should be getting your love?
Or are you throwing love at the wall to see what sticks?
Remember love is valuable.
Don’t cast/throw your pearls to the swines (pigs).
Make Sure Your Quality of Love is Exceptional
During Christmas time people often say that if you don’t have too much money to give gifts, that you should give love.
I say that we should offer our love in such a way that it is better than any gift you can give whether or not you have money and regardless of what time of year it is.
In other words, imagine that love is the only thing that could make the holidays and life in general, joyous and aim to love like that.
Don’t use physical gifts as a clutch to diminish your love… EVER, whether it’s a birthday, an anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas.
Imagine how much more stress-free, debt-free and simply FREE we would be if we loved like this!
Love should be our main focus in our day to day living and the rest should fill in the gaps. It shouldn’t be the other way around.
Remember, gifts are perishable and transient, you are eternal.
Give more of yourself. The BEST version of yourself.
That’s the gift people in your life really want.
It’s Your Turn
What a delicious topic, isn’t it? Love a luxurious topic indeed. What are your opinions?
- Is love luxury?
- Most importantly, are you honoring your love as the luxury that it is?
- Are you giving your love to others in a luxurious way… better than any gift they’ll ever have?
- Or do you just go about your life hoping that the people around you “get” how much you’re loving them?
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