No words are as sweet and memorable as the words “I love you.”
Saying those words words deserve special care. Hearing those words deserves special appreciation. Those words really do invite us to analyze the impact that they currently have and can potentially have in our life. That’s why this post is about how to start romantic love conversations in such a way that your potential of end up loving with all of your senses increases exponentially. (If you’re looking for how to start fun and interesting love conversations with anybody and everybody, you can read our prior Love and Treasure post).
In this Post You’ll Learn:
- What setting is best for saying “I love you”?
- Plan A and Plan B for telling your loved one you love them
- How to say “I love you” if you’re a planner or a perfectionist
- How to make a Looooove sandwich that your partner will be delighted with
- Is expressing love verbally or nonverbally better?
- 2 Myths about people who can’t verbalize “I love you”
- What else is needed besides an “I love you” to make a relationship last?
- How to love your partner with all of your senses (PDF printable)
Important Disclaimer About Love that You Should Always Have in Mind
Before we get started, please know that I’m not the master of your romantic relationship. You know who is? You, and your partner. You both can take turns loving each other in the way that suits you most. What I’m about to share are just suggestions, which you can simplify or make even more special.
How Do You Start Romantic Love Conversations With Your Special Someone?
We all know that saying “I love you” to your beloved for the first time is a little scary, but so worth it…. especially, if you at least have daydreamed about how that moment can be.
1. Make sure that the location in which you’re plan to start a romantic love conversation in is conducive to sharing how you feel and for maybe the other person to reciprocate.
2. You have two options when expressing your love:
- Plan A: Be spontaneous
- Plan B: Put some thought into how you’re going to express that wonderful sentiment
3. If you’re going to be spontaneous and say it when the moment is right see step 5.
4. If, on the other hand, you are a perfectionist, a planner or someone who prefers to write things out before saying them, you can write a mind map, an outline, some pointers on a Notes app on your phone, some pointers on a notecard, or a letter to plan out everything you want to say.
3. Regardless of whether you choose Plan A or Plan, make sure you make an “I love you” sandwich. You’re the chef. Choose the ingredients that best suit you:
- Start off the conversation positively stating how your world is different ever since your loved one is in it.
- Ensure that you’re non-verbally conveying your joy, your love, your interest… they’ll believe you more, and your words will have greater impact.
- Tell them how they’re special to you.
- Or talk about how you’re better thanks to them.
- Talk about how love has changed you.
- Say the words, “I love you” looking them in the eyes.
- Say something sweet at the end, something from your heart.
- Many people feel that those three magic words “I- love- you” are even more special when you explain why you love them. Hearing you say what you find beautiful in their character is music to their ears.
- If you blank out after you say “I love you” at least seal those words with a kiss or with an embrace. Don’t just say “I love you” and change the subject…. especially to more mundane topics because you’ll make the moment become awkward.
- Enjoy the moment as a whole because in proportion to your entire life, they’ll be few moments like, especially the first time someone says “I love you” or you feel compelled to say “I love you” for the first time.
- Make the moment last. Treasure it.
Too Scared to Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve?
If you’re tempted to say everything except the words “I love you” think again. Nothing, I repeat, nothhhhhhing makes it clearer that someone loves you than hearing them say those words (If you’ve ever thought that someone loved you even though it was just a fantasy, you know exactly what this means). So if you want to make sure your loved one KNOWS that you love them, and doesn’t simply THINK that you love them, then say the words…. and say them often.
Knowing that someone loves you fosters love. Thinking that someone loves you fosters fear. -Haydee Montemayor
These are two totally different feelings. One enhances self-worth, the other enhances insecurities.
If those three truly magical words are too huge of a jump for you, think about what you’d like to hear if you were in their shoes, or even in your shoes? Very few things in life are better than looking into someone’s eyes, saying “I love you,” and getting to see what reaction those words evoke in your loved one. As long as you’re saying it with true passion, from the kindle of your soul, it never gets old hearing those words. Is there a chance that those words may backfire? Sure. But not saying them will potentially backfire you your entire life.
Saying “I Love You” At a Distance
If for some reason you can’t say “I love you” face to face at the moment, you can write a romantic letter or gather up your romantic thoughts and express it to your loved one:
- over the phone
- in a written letter
- by email
- via a text
- via a phone chat message
- via social media chat message
But really, if at all possible, if you can’t express your love in person, express it over the phone (because you’re live and can converse back and forth) or in a written letter (which can be a lovely keepsake to treasure). Using modern technology to convey love, isn’t that special. Sad, but true.
Dealing With the Repercussions of an “I Love You”
While it’s important to be grateful for the love that you receive, before committing to someone for a temporary relationship and especially for the rest of your life take a moment to ask yourself:
Is my partner’s way of expressing love satisfying to me?”
Even though love is a gift, it doesn’t have to be your favorite gift if the package, the contents, the delivery or the deliverer of that love doesn’t fulfill you. You have the right to choose whether you want someone’s gift of love for a little while, or for always or if you don’t reciprocate their love. Being as honest as possible with both them and yourself throughout the whole process is key.
What Happens When Your Special Someone Can’t Say “I Love You?”
When it comes to love, verbal expressions of love faaaaar outweigh nonverbal expressions of love. It may be “cute” that that you or your partner can’t say “I love you” early in the relationship, however somewhere down the line, it is vital that that your partner does say those words as generously and as unconditionally as possible. Them using excuses such as:
- “Saying I love you isn’t as critical as showing that I love you” or
- “I never learned how to say I love you because my mom never told me that she loved me” are not acceptable. Period.
The first excuse might make sense, but it’s a cop-out. Who says that the words aren’t as critical as actions? What if you, as the recipient, think actions aren’t as critical as the words? Plus, can’t there be both words and actions? Who ever said that having one and not the other would make a great relationship? It doesn’t.
The second excuse is such a lazy excuse because whoever uses this excuse is implying, unknowingly, of course, that love can be learned. And that it should be learned. So if “momma” didn’t teach them to love at an early age, that doesn’t mean that they can’t learn it. They can teach themselves, inspire themselves, or “learn it” from their loved one(s). They should learn it. As ironic as it may seem even if the partner is okay with not hearing an “I love you” if that couple ever has children, or grandchildren, do you think that those kids will think “Oh, it’s okay that mom, dad, grandma or grandpa don’t tell me they love me?” According to Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs (not Wants) those children will not be as likely to easily reach self-actualized states like that.
Saying I don’t know how to say I love you is as absurd as saying I don’t know how to breathe, because love is what keeps us alive. -Haydee Montemayor
When Is Saying “I Love You” Not Enough?
You can tell your special someone in whatever way you can or want to that you love them, but the most important thing will be the quality of the conversations that you have with them and the quality time that you share with them.
This means that saying “I love you,” although it’s great to hear, is not enough. In the last post, I shared how to be congruent, abundant and genuine with your love. That’s what defines the quality of your love.
Your ability to give your loved one what they consider sufficient time and sufficiently abundant, congruent and genuine love will increase the likelihood of your love lasting. -Haydee Montemayor
Love With All Of Your Senses
Before you get too excited, let me explain what I mean. Loving is SO grandiose that we need all 6 senses (yep, intuition is a sense) to fully experience it. Love is so physical, yet so unphysical, it’s so sublime, yet so real. Very few things compare to it. It is literally so unifying, so magnetic, so all-encompassing that it’s hard to imagine why anything other than love exists or has space to exist. Be sure to get your How To Love With All Of Your Senses PDF .
Your Turn to Share Your Treasures
The important thing to continue love conversations going is to connect, which was what this post is encouraging you to do to make sure you click romantically. People struggle to share their love or express their needs about love when they start to disconnect. No book, no expert, no workshop, no guru can keep your love alive, but you. What are the matches to keep the love flame alive and well? Your ability to communicate your love and your your ability to communicate about love.
- What stood out to you about the post today?
- What do you think that is trying to tell you?
Please leave your response in the comments below. I’d love to hear! And if you haven’t done so, please subscribe and join in on this revolution to talk about what matters… this revolution to talk about love.