What Is Love Anyway?

Category: What Is Love Anyway?

10 Reasons You Should Breastfeed That Speak For Themselves And Implore You To Breastfeed by Haydee Montemayor from Love and Treasure Blog you can find at www.loveandtreasure.com

10 Reasons You Should Breastfeed That Speak For Themselves And Implore You To Breastfeed

Breastfeeding is one of those topics that fuels mommy wars.

 

Mothers who decide to breastfeed can’t comprehend why there are mothers who decide not to breastfeed.

 

Mothers who don’t breastfeed don’t understand what the big fuss about breastfeeding your baby is all about.

 

And while it’s up to you to decide on which side of this elephant in the room you stand on, I’m here to share what I know about breastfeeding from the research and from my experience.

 

I wish I could be impartial and provide you with research studies that presented the downside of breastfeeding. But I haven’t found any. (Not that I think any exist).

 

On the contrary, the value and benefits of breastfeeding are such, that usually, pediatricians, the American Academy of Pediatrics Association (AAP,) breastfeeding consultants and the World Health Organization (WHO) are in agreement that babies should be breastfed for 1 year to 3 years or more. Many people are under the impression that 6 months is what you should aim to breastfeed for, but if you read the fine print carefully, you’ll at least 6 months of EXCLUSIVE breastfeed is suggested, but that it is also recommended that you continue to breastfeed even after you start introducing solids.

 

My decision to breastfeed was a very natural and easy one. In my mind, mothers breastfed. That’s what they do.

 

Even though I myself wasn’t breastfed and I don’t remember seeing my mother breastfeed my younger sister and my younger brother because she would do it behind closed doors in her bedroom… I decided to breastfeed. I knew it was important to my baby and I.

 

Since I had no role models to look up to, I started to do my own research and get comfortable with the idea I would be breastfeeding. And I was pretty excited.

 

When I was pregnant, I went to my first breastfeeding support group.

 

It was funny being there without a baby. And it was funnier that I was there before anybody could tell that I was pregnant.  And you know what my recurring though was for most of that session? “I don’t want to see any boobs.” Although truth be told, I did see some breastfeeding mom’s boobs there and at other mothering courses I attended.

 

Despite that, I was determined to breastfeed.

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Does Love Hurt? Should It?

I don’t know about you, but I believe there is one topic that is at the root of much of our despair and much of our sadness…. and that is, our love wounds.

Many of us have wounds in our heart, soul and mind (and hopefully nowhere else) that we got after a relationship did one of 3 things:

  • turned sour
  • stagnated (stayed stuck)
  • didn’t evolve in the way and in the speed that we wanted it to

And while it may be that an ex-love, an ex-friend or a formerly beloved family member hurt you with what they said or with what they did… it’s not the act in and of itself that hurt you.

It’s what you make that word or that action that you didn’t like mean to you. It’s your interpretation of it.

You and I assign the value to things. We label things as good, bad or indifferent.

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Is Loving a Discipline?

There’s is nothing that I can think of that is as simple and as complex as love.

Can you?

It’s the emotion behind our greatest, most magnificent and unforgettable joy and the reason behind our greatest loss.

While love is a gift, it’s also an art.

While it’s an art, it’s also a science.

Even though love is who we are and something that by our very nature comes naturally to us, it’s something that we really need to practice, experience and put thought into.

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Is Love Charismatic?

How Would I Answer The Question: Is Love Charismatic?

The first thing I did when I read that this was my topic for this post, was to smirk, huff, and say, “yeah right!”

Really!

That’s what I did even though I came up with this topic!

Whyyyyyyy?

Because love is imperfect.

Love isn’t always pink.

It isn’t always charming. Nope, it isn’t. We would hooooope that it was, but it isn’t.

Does love have charismatic characteristics?

Suuuuure, I would agree with that.

But my conclusion is that if love where charismatic, we would show it more often, share it more often, and spread it more often.

It would be the shiny thing we would want everybody to see.

And if everybody felt this way about love, then we would see love evvvvverywhere. Without having to squint and look for it like in a Where’s Waldo? picture.

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Where Does Love Come From, Your Heart Or Your Soul?

I know, I know, you must be have reread this question at least a couple of times and asked yourself, “Whaaaaat? Isn’t the heart and the soul the same thing?”

I remember being in a book club in college and asking the same thing. It gets even more confusing when you try to add the word “spirit” into the mix.

But for now, let’s focus on the question: where does love come from, your heart or your soul?

In order to be able to answer this question, it’s important to define what soul means and what heart means.

Let’s start off with soul.

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Who Or What Do You Consider Loveable?

Have You Ever Really Analyzed Who You Love?

Yes, chances are, you probably have analyzed people one by one, but chances are, you haven’t analyzed all the people whom you love collectively.

It’s a pretty eye-opening experience.

Want to try it?

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Step 1

List the top 10 people who love you in your life.

You can find a PDF for this exercise by clicking Love and Treasure this Moment of Introspection- Who or What Do We Find Loveable .

Step 2

Read the categories below.

As you do, ask yourself under which category you would like each person that you listed to fall under?

In other words, what would be your favorite reason for that person to love you?

Here are the categories:

  1. Those that come with the package:

    • Those who come included, as a default in your life.
    • These include your parents, brothers, sister, cousins, aunts, in-laws.
    • This type of love is tepid depending on whether or not these people engage in the love reasons below.
    • This love is essentially a given. But, contrary to what others tell you and what you try to convince yourself of, this love isn’t special purely standing on it’s own.
    • It’s bland.
    • It’s like loving because you have no choice, rather because you want to.
  2. Those who uplift you— this is sometimes reciprocal and sometimes it’s not

    • These people don’t necessarily love you. But they can. At the least, they hold you in high regard.
    • But they’ve been instrumental in our life journey in allowing you to reach more of our potential.
    • We love these people not necessarily because they love us (because they may or may not love you, but because they’ve made a difference in your life whether for a short period of time or for a long period of time.
  3. Those who love you without having to

    • They love you just because
  4. Those who speak your love language and love you, most importantly, woo you in that love language (meaning the way that you most like to be loved)

    • These people get you.
    • They don’t give us crumbs.
    • They feed us what we need (in a good way)
  5. Those you desire. 

    • These are like an item you’re anticipating to get on your birthday or for Christmas.
    • You might hardly know what it’ll be like having the gift, what the gift can do or not do, but MAN, you want it.
    • Remember, you’re wrote a list of people who love you in your life.
    • The chances of that “shiny person” to love you, are not as high as you would want.
    • But hey, maybe you are lucky that way.
  6. Those who love you innocently

    • For me, this category is usually reserved for the babies or for the puppies, who, when they’re small, are able to give you so little, but yet so, so, so much.
    • Even toddlers, even children, even teenagers and adult children should fall into this category.
    • We should love children unconditionally.
    • Without expectations.
    • Without reservation.
    • Because we want to.
    • And our children should not be able to do anyyyyyyything to deserve a guilt trip from us or less love from us.
  7. Those who love you because of how you help them, serve them, what you do for them or buy them

    • in other words, they love you for their convenience

Step 3

Next to each person’s name identify under which category they really fall under.

Before you start, note that there are some people who may fall under more than one category. In those cases, pay attention to what vibe or what sensation they leave you with.

In other words, if you had to categorize them into one of these categories…and never tell them why you think they love you, which category would they fall under?

Be honest with yourself, even though they may or may not be honest with you.

Step 4

Pay attention to the feelings that come up as you realize why this person loves you… especially if it’s different than the reason why you would LIKE for them to love you.

Turn It Around And Do The Same Activity

This time, do this activity based these two questions:

  • Who do you love?
  • Why do you love them?

 Step 1

On page 2 of the handouts, do steps 1-4 listed above.

 Step 2

If there are any of the same people that love you and you love them, compare the reasons for loving one another.
  • Do you believe you love one another fairly?
  • Why or why not?

Step 3

Reflect on these questions:

  • Who do you tend to love?
  • What category do most of the people that you love fall under? What does this say about you?
  • Do people love you according to the intention and the degree with which you love them?
  • Do you love others based on how you WANT to love or are loved?
  • What other conclusions can you draw from this activity?
  • Who or what do you consider loveable?
  • What, if anything would you like to change about your findings?

Step 4

Share some of your answers to step 3 above in the comments below.
I’d love to hear about the patterns that you found.

The 8 Most Mysterious Characteristics of Love

Love Has Many Colors

As Valentine’s Day is approaching, more people have love on their mind.

I always do.

I’m fascinated by love.

Why?

Because it’s not all pink and red roses, you know?

There are aspects of love that I don’t even know what color they are.

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So in this post, I’ll tell you which aspects of love I find mysterious.

It’ll be a list, because I don’t have the answers to why love is this way.

It’ll just be a fun observation.

And in the end, I’d like for you to please share what aspects of love you think are the most mysterious.

What Do I Mean By Mysterious?

I don’t know about you… but when I pass away, I have some questions that I need answers for. Particularly, when it comes to love.

In this post, I’ll share some questions that I ponder about. That sometimes keep me (or have kept me) up at night.

That have made me day dream.

Or simply wonder.

They usually fall into the category of “WHYYYYYYY?????”

You know what I mean, right?

  • Why is love like this?
  • Why is love like that?

You get the point.

In essence, these mysteries are things about love that you’ve wondered about.

These are patterns that you see in the world and that you don’t know exactly what to do with, where to place, whether to accept or reject, whether to label as a given, or a “heck no!!”

In the end, these mysteries are much more powerful than we are in terms of their ambiguity (unknown origin and nature), but essentially, they’re what invite us to lean in to love and take a closer look.

In sum, they make love more interesting, complex, and curious.

It’s no wonder then that many great songs, movies, novels, memoirs and stories mesmerize us.

So let’s get started in unveiling the most mysterious characteristics of love!

Mystery #1

Why do people feel the need to be with someone when they’re no longer here (either because they have passed away, they’re not nearby, or they have moved on in their life)?

Mystery #2

Why are some people so lenient when it comes to love? In other words, why are some people so tolerant of the love crumbs they receive rather than going for the whole love cake?

Mystery #3

If it is said that we are often surrounded by people who are at a certain level of consciousness, why is it that in some marriages, one person seems way more “consciously” advanced than the other? Does this mean that the one person who thinks is advanced is not as advanced as they think?

Mystery #4

Why is it that many people who have achieved great things in life, had a physically or emotionally absentee father and/or mother?

I know that this has to do with the archetypes that people are meant to live, which at the end will make them stronger… however, why is it necessary in the first place?

Meaning, why does the absence of love, more often than not, what makes people stronger instead of the PRESENCE of love?

I don’t know about you, but I think this last question is a big one.

Mystery #5

Do people die, defy death or are born just to allow or prohibit couples from forming?

Let me elaborate, so that you know where I’m coming from.

  • Do you know of anybody who died and because of their death a couple got together or didn’t get together?
  • Do you know of anybody who had a near-death experience but lived to meet the man or woman of their dreams?
  • Have you ever wondered if people are born “just because” or in large part because they’re meant to be someone’s couple?

I know this last question may seem almost like “not enough” and a “lame” reason for living because we think we’re so much more than just a partner.

But then, does that mean that loving and being loved isn’t enough? That being someone’s couple isn’t enough?

What if instead of searching for “our life’s purpose” we realize that the purpose of our life is to love?

Not just in a romantic sense, but in a general love sense.

Mystery #6

Can our unborn children see us from above?

And if so, what do they notice the most in us?

Do they choose us? What criteria do they use to choose us?

Do they get to meet our relatives that have gone before us?

Mystery #7

Why does love get sent to the back burner of our lives individually and collectively so often?

Why don’t we embrace our loving nature even more?

Mystery #8

When we go to Heaven/afterlife (if you believe in a Heaven/afterlife) are there couples?

And who determines what couples go together?

Does there have to be a mutual desire on both parts to be together?

But what if you want to be with someone and they prefer being with someone else? Or vice versa?

And if you’re rejected does that rejection hurt eternally?

What do couples do in the afterlife?

 That Was Fun!

It’s fun to ponder about these things because we get to see love as something larger than life, which of course it is.

I could go on and on with some of these questions, but I’ve greatly enjoyed sharing these with you.

So now it’s your turn to have some fun.

Now It’s Your Turn

In the comments below, please let me know:

  • What love mysteries are you curious about?

I would LOVE to hear them!

heart and pebbles, www.loveandtreasure, Love and Treasure

Is Love a Religion Or A Spiritual Practice?

heart and pebbles, www.loveandtreasure, Love and TreasureNot Stepping On Your Toes Disclaimer

Let me start off by saying that I was about to cancel writing this post. Not because the topic doesn’t interest me, because it really does. Rather, it was simply because I know that this is a topic that is often misunderstood.

Just by mentioning the word “religion” to people in the U.S., makes our egos step in and exclaim “woah, you’re stepping on my toes!” or “be careful to not step on my toes!”

That’s the reason for this disclaimer.

For the record, I am not intentionally stepping on your toes. And if I do, I apologize, it was an accident. (And I highly encourage you to read until the end of the post so that you can prove this for yourself).

Simply asking the question, “is love a religion or a spiritual practice?” immediately creates a sense of defensiveness in people…. not because of the entire question, because the entire question is actually thought-provoking (if you let it)… but because of the word “religion” especially, and “spiritual.”

It’s weird that this defensiveness pops up because this sensation is first of all, unnecessary, it’s also uncomfortable and counterproductive, because the real focus of the question is LOVE, remember?

Before you start reading the actual post, let me just say 2 things that I hope will minimize the discomfort, at least a tad:

1) I don’t care if you have a religion or not or what your religion is. I really don’t.

2) I also don’t care if you have a spiritual practice.

I say this not out disrespect for you, on the contrary, I say it because I respect what your choices have been regarding these topics.

I do care about 1 thing though, so continue reading to find out more about what that is.

What This Post Is Not About In a Nutshell

In this post, I will not be talking about whether you should be religious or not, or what religion you should be. I also won’t be persuading or dissuading you from having a spiritual practice.

REMEMBER that the vast majority of my posts are about lifting a mirror up to yourself, myself, a book, a product, the world or humanity to see how love fits in relationship to it.

What Is The Difference Between Spirituality and Religion?

A few years ago, thanks to being an avid Oprah Winfrey fan, I learned that there is a difference between spirituality and religion.

According to Merriam-Webster, a religion is “an organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god or a group of gods.”
It is, in other words, a doctrine that you learn about and  try to apply its doctrines to your life.

Spirituality is “the quality of state or being spiritual.” And what is “spiritual”? It is “of or relating to a person’s spirit.”

Essentially, it’s a practice of having a reverence for your spiritual essence and the spiritual nature of living things.

Is Asking The Question “Is Love A Religion Or A Spiritual Practice” Implying Something?

Asking whether love is spiritual or religious is a question that does acknowledge that there are religions that are based on love.

Yet there are people who are very religious who are not loving

And there are very loving people who are not religious.

So being one does not automatically imply that you are the others as well. They each require their skill set. Let’s see what this means.

How Are Religion, Spirituality and Love Alike?

All of these elements, if you choose to incorporate them into your life, require that you devote your time, which as you know, is one of your most precious resources, to someone.

In the case of your:

  1. Religion: you’re devoting time to whom you believe in
  2. Spiritual Practice: you’re devoting time to yourself and/or to whom you believe in
  3. Loved Ones: it’s pretty clear that you’re devoting time to them

But how you spend this time in these three areas can be what determines how satisfied or how “off” you feel in your life.

Let’s explore this further.

What Are You Focusing On?

Even though the content of the posts on this site may seem theoretical and even philosophical, my posts are meant to make you think about your life and invite you to make sure you’re living consciously. Not living how I’d like for you to live, but YOU Living how YOU want to live. Meaning, choosing the elements of your life that you want. Not living by default.

So, let’s take a “quiz” about the role that religion, spiritual practice and love play into your life. The right answer to these questions is your honest answer to yourself.

What is most important to you in your life?

  1. your religion
  2. your spiritual practice
  3. your loved ones

Now take a look at your daily/weekly schedule, what do you devote the majority of your time to?

  1. your religion
  2. your spiritual practice
  3. your loved ones

Which one makes you the happiest?

  1. your religion
  2. your spiritual practice
  3. your loved ones

If you were dying, what would you have wanted to spend more time doing:

  1. practicing a religion (isn’t it weird that we “practice” religions? I wonder if we truly ever “master” them).
  2. devoting time to your spiritual practice (yes, we practice that, too).
  3. loving your loved ones

Analyze Your “Quiz” Results

Take a look at your Answers. Do you see the pattern? Seeing a clear pattern would be nice.

There’s was no wrong or right answer to the quiz questions, necessarily, but I think there is one answer that makes living worthwhile.

Regardless of whether there is a pattern that you like seeing or that you don’t, ask yourself these important questions:

  • Are you devoting time to what makes you the happiest?
  • Are you devoting time to what you would miss doing when you’re dying?
  • Do you now know what is most important?
  • Is your life aligned?
  • If your life isn’t aligned, what can you do about it?
  • Are you living your life according to your CHOSEN priorities or to your DEFAULT priorities?

I Can Sense What You’re Asking

You’re probably asking yourself right now, can’t I have a religion, a spiritual practice and love in my life?

Of course!

Having one does not prevent you from having another.

We’re simply engaging in this conversation to see if by chance, love is a religion, or love is a spiritual practice.

Let’s Gracefully Enter The Controversial Subject

People say that you should love your Creator above all else

But your Creator is in other people.

Bottom line is: if people don’t love those other people, who will love them?

In other words, put yourself in their shoes. How do you feel and know about your Creator’s love (if you believe in a Creator) in a terrestrial/physical level?

Answer: Through people.

When you’re lost, you’re crying inconsolably, or going through an incredibly tough time, who actually comforts you?

Usually, people.

They uplift you through words, through actions, through hugs, by sharing their experiences, by holding your hand, offering their shoulder to cry on, and giving you encouragement and hope.

Can you get some comfort by your Creator himself/herself? Yes. But my point is people are instruments of your Creator’s love.

And if you don’t believe in a Creator, my point is people are loving and capable of giving you comfort when needed (not all people of course, but most).

Without people, the Creator’s love would be more intangible than it is.

I’m saying this not to minimize whom you believe in, but rather to increase your power and YOUR potential to uplift the world.

Is Religion and Spirituality Useful To Some People?

Yes.

But it’s especially useful when people don’t practice either religion or spirituality to see what blessing, miracle, life-saving response, peace or well-being they can get, but rather, what goodness they can give to the world.

So be love and act on love to help others.

Simply, Be

be, www.loveandtreasure.com, Love and Treasure

One of my favorite quotations and one that hasn’t left my desk for more than 10 years says:

“Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.” -St. Francis De Sales

It’s been a constant reminder for me to be who I am, meaning my essence… and not a label with all sorts of expectations that labels often come with.

And when my life has been out of alignment, it has been painful to read this quotation and notice how out of alignment I am, but at the same time, it’s been my best tool for letting go of things in my life that are not me.

Some people may use this quotation to justify how religious they are.

Others may try to use it to justify how spiritual they are.

Me?

I don’t like labels, because I know that they’re mostly “items” on a body. Like clothing. But they’re not the actual body. And as I said, they come with all sorts of expectation baggage.

Have I been or am I religious? Yes. But whether I’ve been or not doesn’t matter.

Have I been or am I spiritual? Yes. But whether I’ve been or not doesn’t matter, either.

I prefer being.

Not striving to be something, but being myself.

Not trying to convince myself or others that I am someone, but rather convincing myself that what I’m doing, what I’m acting on, what I’m thinking, what I’m wanting to do is really me. Makes sense?

I like things to feel natural, not forced.

It’s like not having a “practice,” but doing the deed.

Going with the flow is ACTUALLY living, instead of living hypothetically.

It’s helping where it’s needed instead of helping make a difference on a topic that I dream of making…. especially to those around me in my life, which I may otherwise overlook in wanting to change the world or increase my “score” as a religious or spiritual being.

In other words, if I’m kind or unkind, it’s because of me. Not because I am spiritual or not spiritual. Not because I am religious or not religious. Taking responsibility for my actions.

And the label that I feel the most comfortable with is “love.”

We are created out of love, we are love, our greatest legacy will be love, the only thing we’ll take with us when we pass is love, and the most meaningful thing we can leave behind is love.

Enough said, right?

If Religion and Spirituality is Beneficial, Why Do I Identify With Love The Most?

Two things were key in determining why identify with love the most.

  1. Which of these 3 things has the most potential for universal good?
  2. Which of these 3 things does the world need the most?
  3. Which of these 3 things would allow me to leave my footprint on the world in the best way for the benefit of others?

Clearly, the answer is love.

Why? Because…

If we devoted as much attention to love as we did to religion and spirituality combined, our world would be different, and definitely, more peaceful.” -Haydee Montemayor

Love on its own does not create wars or alienation, but religion has and continues to. It’s very unfortunate.

Spirituality often raises skepticism.

But even love is not free of “faults”:

Religion, spirituality and even love become controversial when there are differences involved that are misunderstood. So it’s our job to understand, or at the very least, accept them, and move on.” – Haydee Montemayor

The best way to increase a religion’s effectiveness and a spiritual practice’s trust is through genuine love.

So Can Religion, Spirituality and Love Coexist?

Yes, they can coexist and should coexist in the following way:

Each of these topics form the lines of a triangle. The bottom of the triangle must be love, in my opinion. If it’s not love, we wisely say, that the foundation of a religion or a spiritual practice is “shaky.”

Religion and spirituality run into problems when there is no genuine love that supports them.

So, Is Love A Religion Or A Spiritual Practice?

Needless to say, I believe that love is neither. It is its own separate entity.

It is and should truly be the foundation of all things, including religions, spiritual practice and our day to day interactions with ourselves and the people around us.

It’s interesting to note that we are born “spirit”-ual, meaning of the spirit, but we are not born religious. We become or don’t become religious. That’s what Baptisms and being born again often allude to. And being religious is a choice not an inherent quality.

In my mind, the best “religion” and the one that all religions should truly incorporate, spread, foster, give and use as their criteria to do anything is Love.

And the best spiritual practice we could have is to actually love.

Don’t get caught up in the symbols, names, rituals or lack thereof, get caught up in the love.

Religions aren’t bad. Spirituality isn’t either. They can both be great for humanity as a whole when love is both at their core and in every action it inspires. Love should be the what runs through the veins of religion and spiritual practice. Love, after all, is what makes the heart pump.

At the end of the day should just allow our goodness shine through.

People should be able to tell what the main “ingredient” that we are made of is.

 

We should just be. We should just love.

just be

It’s Your Turn

So yes, I told you this Love and Treasure topic was going to be controversial. But, I hope you notice the lingering essence of it. I hope you feel the love right now. I hope you feel the possibility of what you can do with love.

If we realized that our common denominator is love, and just let other people choose our own religion just like we chose what milk to drink or avoid it entirely, this topic wouldn’t be so touchy.

We are much more alike than we want to admit.

Why don’t we admit it more easily?

Because we think that there is something other than love that is worth arguing over, when in fact, Love is all there is.

So tell me:

  • What do you think, feel, know: Is love a religion or a spiritual practice?

Is Love Ever A Luxury?

is love a luxury? www.loveandtreasure.com

The answer to the question “Is Love Ever A Luxury?” depends on how you look at it, because a necessity for one person may be a luxury for another.

And a luxury for one person, may be a necessity for the next.

In A Way, Love Is NOT A Luxury

Love is not a luxury in the sense that you are ALREADY entitled to love no matter what.

It does not matter what:
• your education is
• your socioeconomic status is
• the size of your home is
• the size of your bank account is
• you’ve done in your past
• you haven’t done in your past

No glory detail or gory detail of your past entitles you to love nor excludes you from it.

You cannot do enough to deserve love or do so little that you’re unworthy of it.

The amount of love you earn in this world is not an indication of your worth. -Haydee Montemayor

Read that last sentence again.

Still doesn’t sink in? Read it again, if you need to.

You deserve love just because. Period.

Whether Love Is Fair And Equal Or Not Is Up For Discussion

This is just about the time where your ego may say:

“Wait a minute!”

“You mean everybody deserves love?”

The answer is yes.

What your ego is really wanting to ask is:

“So then, I can act however I want and do whatever I want because everybody no matter the harm that they do is deserving of love and will get love anyway?”

The answer is a multilayered one.

Yes, you can do whatever you want. However, how good you feel with how you act and what you do will depend on your values.

Most importantly, keep in mind that there is no exact return on the investment of your love.

You cannot control what you get from someone after you give them your love.

It’s like an investment.

Sometimes you win…. and you get beautiful love in return that fills your heart.

Sometimes you lose and end up broken hearted.

But remember this:

Love without expecting anything in return except to feel good. -Haydee Montemayor

Yes. Love because it makes YOU feel good.

That way, whether you get something in return or not isn’t that important.

It’s like helping a stranger in need. You give because you are inspired to give. Giving makes you feel good. If the stranger says thank you or not, uses it to bless his/her life or to further sink into despair, is not something you can control.

There are ONLY 4 things you can control when it comes to love:

  • the quality of your love
  • the frequency of your love (how often you give love)
  • how you express it
  • the intention with which you give it.

Focus On What You Can Control When You Give and Receive Love and Forget About What You Can’t Control

Wouldn’t it be nice if you got back as much as or more love than what you gave?

Actually, it would be “fair.” But, think about it.

The greatest people that lived in the past and are living today didn’t get as much love as they deserved.

Yeah, perhaps they lived with a “my cup is so darn FULL” mentality that they probably didn’t notice the love that they were missing or being denied.

Except, of course, when people overtly directed hatred toward them.

Nobody has been, is, or will ever be exempt to hatred, or indifference, unfortunately.

  • Not the people whom religions are based on
  • Not the saints
  • Not the greatest historical heroes

Even in the present:
The kindest person that you know is usually not the one who has the most love.

This can often be seen in marriages. The kindest husbands often don’t have the most loving, most self-less, most helpful or most giving wives.

If you can’t see it, think about the most wonderful, “angelic” woman you know. Does she have a husband that is as utterly giving as her? No.

Have you noticed that?

It’s a generalization, of course. So this situation is not always the case, but it happens. And often.

In A Way, Love IS a Luxury

By luxury, I don’t mean the kind of thing that you shouldn’t have because it’s “too” expensive.

Love is affordable for everyone, but you have to work at maintaining it, growing it and improving it.

You can get love for free, but you have to invest in it continuously.

You have to maintain, grow and improve love like nothing else…. because love is delicate while being the strongest force. It’s elusive and it’s present.

You Literally Can’t Buy Love

There has never been, nor is there currently a fancy store that sells love (no matter how much they try to convince you otherwise).

They may sell symbols of love, like a diamond, for example, but not love itself.

But if there was a store that did sell love, it would be more expensive than any designer bag, jewel, designer pair of shoes, expensive phone or luxury car.

People often say that you can’t buy love and it’s not just that they don’t sell it… it’s that even if they did sell love, it would be too expensive.

It would cost more than anything you own and everything you have ever bought.

It would be a luxury that very few could afford.

The beautiful REALITY is, that you already have love. LOTS of it. An INFINITE amount of it, to be exact.

So that, my friend, makes you a billionaire.

You Wouldn’t Trade Love For The World

You know, both consciously and subconsciously that love is SOOO precious to you, that you wouldn’t give up your ability to love for any amount of money.

Most of you wouldn’t sell the people you most love for any price either.

You wouldn’t want to give up the love that you receive and you most treasure for any price.

So love really IS the most valuable thing you have.

You wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Human Beings Are The Only People Who Can Communicate Love With Both Words and Actions

Yes, your pet loves you and so does Mother Nature, but they can’t verbally tell you that.

So what this means is that since you are the only one who can give love conscientiously, deliberately, verbally and nonverbally, and with an awareness of how valuable love is, YOU are the most luxurious love container there is.

Move over crystal, gold, leather, mink, etc., because they’re pale compared to you! 🙂

Really!

Does crystal, gold, leather, mink give people joy?

Yes… for a short while.

But you have been giving love to people since you were born.

How old are you again?

____ years (fill in your own age)

That’s how long the impact of your presence and your love has lasted.

There should be a label on you that says “Giving love since _____ (the year you were born).”

I know it sounds absurd perhaps to think of yourself as a container of love, but you are the container and most importantly, you are the love.

So much so, that when you pass, you will still be the love.

Your love, will never, ever, ever, ever, die.

THAT is everlasting luxury. 🙂

Are Some Loves More Valuable Than Others?

You betcha!

They’re equal, generally speaking, because they have an equal inherent/original value… which it has simply because it is love.

But there’s no denying that your love is more valuable to some, than it is to others.

And there are loves in your life that you treasure more than others.

And that’s okay.

What Determines A Love’s Value?

How valuable someone’s love is depends on:

  • its inherent/original value (which is great to begin with)
  • the quality of the love at any given moment,
  • how frequently they give you that love (which influences how used to you are to receiving it)
  • how they express it
  • the intention behind it
  • the love needs of the person receiving it and
  • the love needs of the person giving it (surprised by this? Think how many people love while expecting something in return).

And I want to compare loves not out of a “she gives better love than I do” mentality, that all it does is promote jealousy, comparison and offended egos, but out of a deep invitation for YOU to evaluate YOUR love.

Are you offering a high quality love most of the time to people who truly should be getting your love?

Or are you throwing love at the wall to see what sticks?

Remember love is valuable.

Don’t cast/throw your pearls to the swines (pigs).

Make Sure Your Quality of Love is Exceptional

During Christmas time people often say that if you don’t have too much money to give gifts, that you should give love.

I say that we should offer our love in such a way that it is better than any gift you can give whether or not you have money and regardless of what time of year it is.

In other words, imagine that love is the only thing that could make the holidays and life in general, joyous and aim to love like that.

Don’t use physical gifts as a clutch to diminish your love… EVER, whether it’s a birthday, an anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas.

Imagine how much more stress-free, debt-free and simply FREE we would be if we loved like this!

Love should be our main focus in our day to day living and the rest should fill in the gaps. It shouldn’t be the other way around.

Remember, gifts are perishable and transient, you are eternal.

Give more of yourself. The BEST version of yourself.

That’s the gift people in your life really want.

It’s Your Turn

What a delicious topic, isn’t it? Love a luxurious topic indeed. What are your opinions?

  • Is love luxury?
  • Most importantly, are you honoring your love as the luxury that it is?
  • Are you giving your love to others in a luxurious way… better than any gift they’ll ever have?
  • Or do you just go about your life hoping that the people around you “get” how much you’re loving them?

Please leave your comments down below. Subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already. The deliciousness of all there is to be said about love is just getting started.